


Skin Deep (Discontinued)

by FireLight2317



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2018-12-07 01:13:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 36,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11612856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FireLight2317/pseuds/FireLight2317
Summary: "Don't you know that even a broken, scarred, and used toy is beautiful in the eye of a child whom values more than what is only skin deep?"-Tao~~~...I slept with just about every man I could get my hands on but no one could make me feel like Tao did..-Sehun





	1. One

Tao's POV

I walked into the room where Sehun was sitting. He looked up from his phone and said, "Oh, it's you." I was puzzled to hear the dismissive tone in Sehun's words. "What's wrong?" he asked. I couldn't believe that Sehun had the nerve to ask me what was wrong, when obviously something was wrong with him. Swallowing my pride, I forced a smile on my face. "It's nothing, I just haven't seen my Sehunie in a while. These days you're distant from me."

Sehun sighed throwing his head back on the couch. "Why does it matter? It's not like we're together." 

"You're right. I don't know what I was thinking. If you'll excuse me." I walked out of the room with a slightly bruised heart.

The relationship between us was tense for months; not bothering to speak to each other when we saw one another in the hallways of our dorm. Sehun began to avoid me like the plague; I was starting to get mad at my best friend for ignoring me.

Finally, Sehun broke the silence on day while we were sitting in the living room. 

"Tao, we need to talk." 

I looked up from my phone, glaring at the younger. "Oh, so you can see me now? What a relief, I was starting to believe that I was invisible." I rolled my eyes, giving Sehun as much sarcasm as I could with every word.

Sehun was seated across from me in a lazy boy, with a deep sigh Sehun lifted himself from the chair. Sehun knew that I had every right to be angry with him. "Look, I know I've been acting like an asshole for the past few months and you have every right to be pissed off at me." Sehun walked to where I was sitting on the couch and sat on the coffee table in front of me. 

"Damn straight I have the right to be pissed! How would you feel if your Best friend suddenly stopped talking to you? You avoided my every move!" I refused to look at Sehun, knowing that if I saw his face I would break down in tears. 

"It wasn't my intention to avoid you or ignore you. It just sort of happened, you know?" Sehun mumbled.

I had my face turned to the side busying myself with the trim of the curtains hanging in the window, still not wanting to look at Sehun. "No, I don't know because people just don't ignore and avoid another person for no reason, Sehun. I mean what possible reason did you have for treating me like that?" Despite my effort tears ran down my face as I spoke. I felt a hand wipe the tears from my face; I slapped away Sehun's hand and stood up moving away from his touch. 

"I'm sorry for treating you the way I did but there was some things that I needed to clear up in my heart and mind. Until today I've been in a battle with my heart. Finally I mustered up the guts and resolved my feelings." Sehun got up from where he was sitting and followed me, moving so that he was standing in front of me. With his hands Sehun pulled our faces close together. 

I felt my cheeks warm in embarrassment at how close he was to me. I searched his eyes and saw a strange emotion in them. "S-Sehun what are you doing?" 

"Something I should have done a long time ago." Sehun closed the distance between us with a soft, slow, passionate kiss.


	2. Two

Tao's POV

I pushed Sehun away from me covering my mouth in shock.

“W-Why did you do that?” I stammered. I couldn’t believe what Sehun had just done. I can’t let Sehun fall in love with me, I couldn’t bring him into my fucked up world, but I couldn't hide the fact that I had been waiting for this moment for so long; to feel Sehun’s lips on mine was heaven in the hell I called life. I wanted desperately to return his kiss but the fear of hurting Sehun made me hold back my feelings.

“Because I like you, Tao. No, I love you.” Sehun grabbed my hands in his and looked into my eyes. Showing me all the emotion he held for me through his gaze.

“You can’t like nor love me.” I racked my mind for a solid enough reason to deny his feelings without telling him the truth. “It’s against the term policy of SM. You realize that, don’t you?” I pulled my hands out of his grasp and balled them up at my side. Tears were falling down my face; every word Sehun had spoken made my heart flutter but there was no way I could jeopardize Sehun’s life. I pushed down the feelings that I held for Sehun and hardened my already broken heart drying the tears that flowed down my face.

“I know that, but I can’t get you out of my mind. Trust me I’ve tried. I thought ignoring you and going out with other people would help me forget the feelings I have for you, but they just made them stronger. Not to mention how bad I felt about ignoring you and seeing you upset because of me. In all honesty, Tao, I don’t want you out of my head or heart.” Sehun bowed his head, resting his forehead on my lap.

I knew my next words would break Sehun’s heart but it needed to be done. With a sigh, I gently pushed Sehun’s head off my lap and stood up. “If you knew that, then why are you doing this? Are you trying to ruin everyone’s career? Besides, two men can’t be together, it’s not right. I know Suho and Kris-hyung are together and I’m not against them, but I’m telling you as your Hyung to drop these ‘feelings’ you claim to have because they won’t be returned.” I had to turn away from Sehun afraid I would lose the facade I forced on. I walked to the large window that overlooked the street of our dorm, unable to stop the tears from falling down my face.

“Why won’t my feelings be returned, Tao? Are you scared of what SM is going to do? Because, I surely don’t give a crap about what SM thinks. Don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy the kiss we just shared! It’s said that when you find your true love you’ll know it when you kiss them. I knew you were the right person for me the moment our lips touched, Tao.”

I clutched the fabric of the curtains in my hand trying to not give in to the hurt I heard in Sehun’s voice. A nightmare was unfolding before my eyes and there was nothing I could do to change it. I have to keep pushing Sehun away or I’ll end up hurting him or even worse killing him. The world I had been forced to run away from; the world I had to return to was drastically different from the one I was living in. It was a world that was too dangerous for such a pure soul as Sehun's to ever have to enter. I heard Sehun get up from his place on the table and flinched when I felt his arms wrap around me from behind.

“Yes, I’m afraid of what SM is going to do if I somehow return your feelings.” Lies. I’m scared I might kill you. “Is that wrong of me? Sehun, we’re not the only members in this group and you’re asking me to make such a selfish decision of choosing you over the others?” I want you. Don’t believe the words I’m saying. They’re lies. “I can’t and won’t do that to our hyungs. We’ve all worked too hard for you to ruin it.” It's not your fault. “I can honestly say that I didn’t feel anything when you kissed me; no sparks, no heart flutter, and no butterflies in my stomach. The only feeling there was anger.” I felt all of it. Every single thing, I felt it. I unwrapped Sehun’s arms from around my waist pushing Sehun away from me once again. “Stop with these feelings and get your head out of the clouds. Even if I wanted to be with you, it would never work out.” I want to be with you but I’m so fucking scared. I don't want to loose the person I love the most. I was glad my voice didn’t reflect the tears that were running down my face.

“If that’s how you feel then fine. I know you felt something in that kiss, because for a moment, you kissed me back. You can lie to me but don’t lie to yourself. Just know that I won’t let go of my feelings for you, I’ll hold on to them til’ you realize that you have feelings for me as well. Like I told you before, I don’t care what SM or anyone thinks of my feelings for you, because they’re not the ones I’m giving my heart to.” I could hear the sadness in his voice as he walked pass me and out of the room.

Once he was gone, I slid to the floor with my hand clutched over my heart. I sobbed into my chest, hating myself for hurting Sehun, but I knew that Sehun and I could not be together. Lord knew how bad I wanted to cling to Sehun and tell him how I really feel.

"Please, whatever you do don't stop loving me. I love you so much Sehun. I love you. Just wait for me to muster up the courage to love you openly." I whispered to myself as I cried my heart out to no one.

Sehun's POV

I walked into my room and closed the door. Leaning against the door, I finally let the tears fall. My tears were slow and quiet as I let the emotions that I held in for so long take control. I knew Tao felt some way for me but his best friend was fighting against his feelings. Tao chose to push me away instead of embracing his feelings. I let out a shaky sigh as I ran my hands over my face; wiping the tears from my eyes in the process.

"Tao, I won't give up on you. I promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! :) 
> 
> ~~FireLight2317


	3. Three

I admit it.

I'm avoiding Oh Sehun.

After what had happened between us a few weeks ago, I couldn't bear to look him in the eyes. I didn't want to gaze into the eyes that held so much feeling for me, because I knew it wasn't right for me to drag him into my life. The distance between us was making the other members restless; everyone could feel that something wasn't right between us. Sehun never missed an opportunity to be alone with me but I would always make excuses to leave or drag someone along with us. I tried my hardest to drift away from Sehun in hopes of crushing the poor boy's feelings for me.

"Tao, did something happen between Sehun and you? I've never seen you act so cold towards Sehun before." Kai said as he sat down next to me on my bed.

I dropped the book I was reading and frowned at Kai. "No, it's just really complicated and strained between us right now but I'm sure it'll pass soon. So, don't worry."

"I hope you're right, because everyone is worried about you two. Especially Sehun, he isn't his self anymore. He hardly jokes around anymore and it's kind of off putting." Kai said with a frown.

"I'll go talk to him. If that makes you feel any better. So, please, don't worry about Sehun and me." I sat up in my bed and offered Kai a small smile.

"Alright. If you say so, I'll let you handle things but please hurry up and make up." Kai smiled and ruffled my hair before he got up from my bed and left.

I let a sigh roll off my tongue as I let my head roll back. I stared up at my ceiling trying to figure out how to approach my best friend. How fucking ironic. Who knew that I would be the one ignoring Sehun to the point where it would affect his very being and to think this whole thing started because I was upset that Sehun was the one ignoring me. All I had to do was tell him that I love him. Why am I making him suffer so much? Am I really that much of a coward? "Yes, I'll be the coward if it meant protecting him. I'll be the one to crush him in order to save him." I rolled out of my bed with my mind set. I was going to keep him safe at all cost. Especially since I was going back to a world where the bonds I had would be used against me.

Slowly I made my way down the all too familiar path that lead to Sehun's bedroom. I calmly knocked on the door and waited for an answer.

"Come in." Sehun said.

I pushed open the door and walked in. Sehun was sprawled out in his bed with his eyes shut and headphones on. I cleared my throat, trying to gain his attention.

Sehun slid his headphones off of his head and sat up in his bed, "Did you need something, Hyung?" He asked.

"Let's go out, tonight. I'm feeling a bit bored at the moment." I said offering him a small smile.

"No. I don't feel like going out tonight. Besides, you'll probably bring the other members with us." Sehun said flopping back on his bed.

I rolled my eyes at Sehun's dramatic behavior. "No, I'm not. It's just going to be me and you tonight. Stop being dramatic and come with me." I said.

"What do I get if I say yes?" Sehun asked. I couldn't see his face but I could tell he was smirking.

What does he think I am? He's lucky if I buy him a damn ice cream. 

"I'll do anything you want if you come with me Sehun. I just want to spend time with my Sehunie!" I said.

Sehun sat up in his bed with a large smile. "Anything? You? Huang Zitao, will do anything for me, Oh Sehun? I'll take it."

I chuckled and shook my head; I knew I would come to regret saying what I did but if it made him happy I was okay with giving him what he asked for. "Good. Hurry and get dressed. I'll be downstairs waiting for you." I turned on my heel and walked out his room a small smile spread across my face.

Don't hate me, Sehun. I'm only doing this because I might not get another chance to be with you. At least your last memories should be good ones, right?

I ran my hands through my hair in frustration. "I hope what I'm doing is the right thing." I said as I made my downstairs to wait for Sehun.

I grabbed my car keys from the table and walked into the living room, only to find Kris and Suho laying together on the couch watching a movie. They both looked up from the screen when I walked in.

"Going somewhere, Tao?" Suho asked eyeing the keys in my hand.

"Yeah, I'm taking Sehun out for the night. I thought it would be nice to spend some time together since our schedule is a little relaxed. Is it okay if we go out?" I asked as I sat down in the empty love-seat.

Suho looked at Kris and shrugged his shoulders, "I don't see anyone reason why it wouldn't be okay. Kris do you have anything to add?"

"Nope. Just be safe. Have fun." Kris said, going back to watching whatever movie was on.

I tried to pay attention to the movie but my mind kept wandering to Sehun. I was nervous about being alone with him but I knew that if I didn't do something about our relationship then I would regret it.


	4. Four

I walked down stairs to the living room. Kris, Suho, and Tao were sitting on the couches watching a movie. Suho and Kris were engrossed in the movie and didn't hear me walk into the living room; Tao, however, looked up when he heard the sound of my bare feet hit the floor.

"Are you ready?" Tao asked.

"Yeah, just let me put on my shoes." I said as I walked through the living room to the side closet. I opened the door and began searching for my shoes amongst the twelve other pairs.

I could feel Tao's eyes on me as he watched my every move, no longer interested in the movie. Focus Sehun. Hurry up and find your shoes. I swallowed the lump in my throat and continued the search for my shoes. Finally, I found my shoes and threw the others back into the closet.

I made my way back to the living room, being as quiet as possible, not wanting to disturb the silence. I sat next to Tao on the love-seat, careful not to touch him as I put on my shoes. I noticed how tense Tao had become since I walked into the room. It made my heart ache but I shook off those feelings as I remembered that tonight I would finally be alone with my Panda. I missed spending time with my panda and his sudden offer to take me out made my heart swell with joy. I smiled to myself thinking of the different things we could do together; it could be like old times, before I confessed my feelings to him. I remember how relieved I felt when the words rolled off my tongue that night, but I also remember the sharp pain of Tao's rejection. It served as a constant reminder in the back of my mind that possibly, Tao and I, would never be together.

"Sehun?"

Tao placed his hand on my leg causing me to jump. "Y-Yeah?"

"I asked if you were ready to go." Tao said with a concerned look on his face.

"Oh, um, yeah. Sorry, I kind of spaced out for a little." I smiled, reassuring Tao that I was fine.

"Okay, I'll go warm up the car. I'll be back." Tao squeezed my leg as he pushed himself up from the love-seat.

"Kris hyung?" I looked at Kris as the older man looked my way.

"Yeah, do you need something Sehun?" Kris asked as he leaned farther back into the couch Suho and him were sharing.

"I just wanted to tell you that Tao and I, will probably be out late tonight. You know, since it's the first time he's been wanting to do anything with me alone." I rubbed the place where Tao's hand had been resting a moment ago. I could still feel the heat from Tao's hand even though it was long gone.

Kris chuckled as he wrapped his arm around Suho's shoulders pulling the shorter man into his chest. Suho blushed but snuggled into Kris's side as he continued to watch the movie. "Yeah, I know. Tao told Suho and I before you walked down. I just told him that you two could stay out later than usual since we don't have any schedule for tomorrow. Just be careful of the fans and stay close to one another during the night." Kris gave me a smile before he returned to the movie. Kris grabbed Suho's hand and held it in his own and smiled at the smaller man as he placed a kiss on their clasped hands.

I smiled at the sight of them. I longed to have something special like Kris and Suho; their love for each other far surpassed any fear they held about SM. They were cautious to only touch one another in the confinement of the dorm and during outings as a group as the manager strongly encouraged skin-ship between members. I wanted to be able to look at Tao the way Kris looked at Suho; with emotions, so strong that all I could see was him.

"Well, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go find Tao. Enjoy your movie hyungs." Without another word, I pushed myself up from the love-seat and made my way out of the living room.

"Sehun." Suho called.

"Yeah?" I stopped in front of the front door and turned around to look at Suho.

"Good luck with Tao. I know how stubborn he can be and I know things haven't been exactly easy for you but I know he'll come around. Stay strong, Sehun." Suho gave me a sweet smile and waved.

"Thanks, hyung. I'll do my best." I waved good bye before walking through the front door. I walked to the front of the house where I could hear the hum of Tao's engine.

Tao's car was parked on the sidewalk and Tao was leaning against the passenger door staring at his phone. Tao didn't hear me walk up and jumped when he felt me lean next to him. "You scared the daylight out of me Sehun! I almost dropped my baby!" Tao said as he shoved his phone into his pocket.

"Sorry, I wasn't trying to scare you. Anyway, I'm ready. Kris and Suho said to have fun." I pushed myself off of Tao's car and stood in front of the dark male and leaned in close to his face.

"W-What are you doing?" Tao stammered. I was too close for comfort and it was causing Tao to become nervous.

I reached up and cupped Tao's face in my hands. I leaned in closer until our lips were inches apart. I could feel the warm breath coming from Tao's parted lips, I was tempted to steal a kiss but I knew it would only cause Tao to freeze up and ruin our time alone before it even started. I closed my eyes and rested my forehead against Tao's. I felt him stiffen at the contact but he eventually relaxed in my touch. To my surprise he placed his hand on top of mine. I let a small smile trace my lips before I pulled away.

"Wait. Let's stay like this for a bit longer." Tao said with a shaky voice as he pulled me back to him. Once more, our foreheads connected but this time he didn't stiffen, instead Tao allowed himself to lean closer to me. He opened his eyes and stared into my dark brown ones.

"I'm holding back but the urge to kiss you is so strong right now." I said as I licked my lips. Tao's eyes widened in surprise at my words but he didn't move a muscle.

I took Tao's silence as permission for me to proceed. I moved my face closer to Tao's until our lips were barely touching. I looked into Tao's eyes once more, his eyes were glazed over with want but his body was shaking. As bad as I wanted to, I knew that if I kissed him now the panda would regret his actions later. I let out a large sigh before placing a kiss on his forehead and stepping back.

As if being let out of a trance, Tao's eyes returned to their normal muddy brown. His face turned a deep shade of red as he pushed himself off the car." Sorry." Tao mumbled under his breath as he walked around the front of the car to the driver's side. He opened his door and quickly got in.

I smiled as I opened the passenger door and got in. "So, where are we going?" I asked Tao as I fastened my seat belt.

"I was thinking about taking you to the amusement park. I know you've been wanting to go but our schedule has been too busy." Tao said while shifting the car into drive and pressing on the gas.

"How did you know that I've been wanting to go? I thought you were ignoring everything that had to do with me?" It was true, I really did want to go to the Amusement park. When we had seen a poster displaying the amusement park I had made such a fuss about wanting to go. Amusement parks were one of my favorite places to go; there were so many fun rides to get on and I loved to eat the funnel cakes that many vendors sold.

"You know most people say 'thank you' or 'you're the best' in situations like this. Anyways, did you actually think that I could ignore your childish ass? Honestly, I couldn't ignore you if I was given a million won. "Tao rolled his eyes as he stopped at a traffic light.

"Thanks, Tao. It's a relief to know that you don't really hate me. I was scared that my confession ruined our friendship. After that day, you avoided being alone with me and you never wanted to share a room with me when we stayed in hotels." A sad smile appeared on my face as I continued to talk. "I guess I sound kind of desperate, but I miss being by your side." I busied myself with my fingers not wanting to look at Tao. This was the first time I told anyone about the way I had been feeling the past few weeks after telling Tao my feelings for him.

"We're almost there." Tao cleared his throat and pressed on the gas speeding through the light.

The ride was rode in silence as neither them knew what to say. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Tao turn on the radio. SHINee's 'Symptoms' slowly drifted from the speakers. I listened to Tao hum to the song, drumming his fingers on the wheel. Slowly, Tao's low hums put me to sleep.


	5. Five

"Sehun, wake up. We're here." I shook Sehun's shoulder.

"Wah?" Sehun mumbled as he slowly opened his eyes.

"I said we're here. At the Amusement park." I leaned over to his seat and unclicked his seatbelt before turning off the car.

Sehun rubbed his hands over his eyes trying to wipe the sleep from his face. "What are we waiting for then?" Sehun unclicked his seatbelt and turned to smile at me.

"Let's go if you're ready." I unlocked the doors and pushed my way out the car.

Sehun followed my lead and got out of the car with excitement written all over his face. "Yehet! The Amusement park looks so fun! Thank you Tao for taking me." Sehun walked quickly around the car to my side and hugged me.

His sudden actions caught me off guard but I managed a smile and returned his hug. "It's the least I could do for treating you the way I did." I mumbled into his arm.

Sehun released me from the hug and smiled brightly. "What should we do first?" he questioned.

"Let's get something to eat. I'm pretty hungry from driving." I said as I patted my stomach.

"Okay. Let's go find a ramen stand. I'm pretty sure they have one or two in there." Sehun grabbed my hand and started pulling me towards the entrance. I panicked trying to pull my away from his grasp.

Sehun looked back at me with confusion mixed with hurt his face. "Oh, um sorry. I just got a little excited." Sehun withdrew his hand from mine and looked to the floor.

I mentally kicked myself, I was supposed to let Sehun do any and everything that he wanted to do and if that meant he wanted to hold hands then so be it. I took a deep breath and grabbed Sehun's hand. "Why're you apologizing? There was just a bug on your hand and you know how I feel about those things." I smiled at Sehun and continued to walk to the entrance of the Amusement park. Sehun's hand tightened in my grip as we paid for our tickets.

"Well, this map says that there are two ramen shops in the Amusement park. There's one near the Tunnel of horror and one near the Ferris wheel. I think we should go to the one near the Ferris wheel, you know, since I don't want to hear the screams of others while eating my ramen." I pointed to the locations on the map that Sehun was holding.

Sehun shook his head in agreement as he rolled up the map and placed it in his back pocket. "Then, after we eat we can ride the Ferris wheel."

We walked to where the Ferris wheel was located. The walk wasn't very long and the talk between us was pleasant and light.

In a short time, we were standing in front of the ramen shop with empty bellies and full pockets. "Oh, the smell coming from this stand is amazing!" I said as I took a large sniff of the air coming from the stand.

"You're so fat but it does smell nice." Sehun laughed and walked through the curtains that was serving as a door.

"Hi welcome to-...Oh my god! I-It's Oh Sehun and Tao! Eomma!!! Eomma Exo is in our shop!" The girl at the front counter turned beat red as she called out to her mother.

We looked at each other awkwardly before beaming large smiles at the young girl.

"Karin! Please stop shouting, we're conducting business right now!" The mother of the girl named Karin stepped out from the back kitchen and hit Karin lightly on the shoulder. "Now go to the back and cool down. I'll take these two men's orders." She pushed her daughter towards the kitchen and sent a smile towards us. "Sorry, about that gentlemen. My name is Clarisse and I'll be taking your order tonight. What can I get you to drink?" Clarisse said as she placed a menu in front of us.

"Chocolate flavored bubble tea for me please" Sehun pointed to the drink on the menu.

"I'll take a glass of water." I said as I continued to look over the shops different ramen.

Clarisse wrote down our drinks. "Okay, I have one chocolate flavored bubble tea and a glass of water. Are you men ready to order?" Clarisse asked.

I looked over to Sehun who still had his nose deep into the menu. "No, just give us a few minutes, if you please." I said.

"No problem. I'll be right back with your drinks." Clarisse stuffed her notepad in to her apron and walked back to the kitchen.

"Have you found what you want?" I asked Sehun.

Sehun shook his head "There's too many to choose from. I don't know what to pick." Sehun said as he looked up at me.

"How about we order the same thing? I'm getting this one." I pointed to the picture of miso ramen on the menu's front cover.

"Does it come with rice?" Sehun asked.

"Yeah." I said.

Sehun closed the menu and pushed it away from him with a satisfied look, "I'll have the Miso ramen then."

Just then Clarisse came up to the counter with a glass of water and Sehun's chocolate flavored bubble tea. "I have a water and a chocolate flavored bubble tea." Clarisse sat down their drinks and pulled out her notepad, "Are we ready to order?" She asked.

"We'll both have a large Miso Ramen with a side of white rice." I said, handing our menus to Clarisse.

Clarisse diligently wrote down the two orders and read them back to me making sure she had heard correctly. "Your orders will be out in about 20 minutes." Clarisse walked back to the kitchen and handed the order to the cook.

"Tao, let's play a game?" Sehun turned towards me in his seat almost knocking our knees together.

I raised my eyebrows in curiosity, "What do you have in mind?" I asked, excited.

Sehun leaned his upper body close to mine and whispered, "A game of truth or dare." Sehun sat back and pulled out his phone. Unlocking his screen he pulled up an app that had the words truth or dare written across the screen in bold letters. "Okay, the way this game works is you spin the wheel and the spinner will either land on truth or dare. Depending on what you land on the game will give a challenge to complete within 30 seconds. If you don't complete the challenge you get flicked on the forehead by your opponent." Sehun placed his phone on the counter between us.

"Okay. You're on Sehun. I'll go first." I flicked my finger across the screen. When the spinner stopped it landed on dare and a red card popped up on the screen. I moved closer to the screen and read the challenge out loud, "Go up to a random girl, wink and then kiss her cheek. Do this without speaking a word and walk away when the challenge is complete." I looked up at Sehun and shrugged, "That doesn't seem so hard."

Sehun rolled his eyes and gestured for me to get up. "If it seems so easy hurry up and get it over with. You only have 30 seconds and your time is ticking."

With a smirk, I stood up and scoped the restaurant. Finding the girl of my choice I ran my fingers through my hair and walked smoothly to a table seated in the far back of the small restaurant. The woman looked to be in her early 20's and was sitting with another young lady of about the same age. The slightly older lady looked up when I stopped next their table. It took a good second before she recognized me as her eyes widened in shock. Before she could mutter a word, I winked and then bent down to place a small kiss on her cheek. The other young lady at the table gasped as she witnessed what most girls would die for. Just as the challenge instructed I walked away without speaking a single syllable to the ladies at the table. With a little less than 10 seconds to spare I made it back to where Sehun was sitting.

Sehun arched a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at me as I sat down. "I thought for sure you would say something but I guess I was wrong."

I smirked at Sehun and gestured to the phone on the counter. "Your turn, Sehunie."

Sehun swiped his hand across the screen causing the spinner to move quickly. After about 30 seconds the spinner came to a stop. "Truth." I read out loud.

Sehun rolled his eyes as the yellow challenge card popped up on the screen "Truth: Name all the people you've ever had a crush on." Sehun glanced at me, causing my face to flush in embarrassment.

"I'll give you a pass on this one." I tried to take the phone from Sehun but failed as he moved the phone out of my reach.

"No. I'll do the challenge. I'm not as easily embarrassed as you when it comes to things like this." Sehun placed the phone back on the counter between us.

Taking a deep breath Sehun looked me in the eyes, "Well, if we're talking about all the people I've had crushes on then it's only about three people realistically. There's you, LuHan, and Jongdae." Sehun grabbed his bubble tea and took a long drink.

I placed my hand on Sehun's knee as I tried to make sense of what the younger male said. "Wait. You've had a crush on Chen? All the members knew you had a little something with LuHan but Chen? Wow, I would have never guessed." I had a slight edge to my voice as I finished speaking. One would almost call it jealousy.

Sehun nodded his head in agreement as he set his drink back on the counter. "Yeah, we've always been close but I could never act on my feelings so it fell through. Anyway, it's your turn again Tao."

Before I could take my turn, Clarisse came from the kitchen with two large steaming bowls of miso ramen. The smell of the ramen filled my nostrils as I took in a large breath of the savory smelling food set before them. "Here you boys go. Two large bowls of miso ramen with two sides of white rice." Clarisse turned around and grabbed the bowls of rice from her daughter Karin; turning back around Clarisse set the bowls next to the bowls of ramen. "Is there anything else I can possibly get you boys?" Clarisse asked.

I looked up from my food and nodded, "No, I think we're good. Thank you, but the food looks and smells amazing." I smiled as Clarisse placed the check on the counter before dragging her daughter back to the kitchen.

"Our manager would kill us if he knew we were eating this but I don't care at the moment." Sehun said as he grabbed a pair of chopsticks from the counter, passing a pair to me and then grabbing one for himself. Without further hesitation Sehun began to tear into his ramen with a look of pure satisfaction.

I chuckled at the younger male's vigor before I began eating my ramen. There was a comfortable silence as we ate and within a matter of ten minutes we had both polished off our ramen and rice. We now sat at the counter with full stomachs as we waited for Clarisse to come out from the kitchen.

Sehun patted his flat stomach, "Man, I haven't had good ramen like that in a long time."

I finished the rest of my water and nodded in agreement. "Same, I haven't had anything that satisfying since we were trainees."

As soon as I had finished speaking, Clarisse came out from the kitchen, smiling as she walked towards us with a funnel cake in one of her hands.

"I hope you boys enjoyed the food?" She asked as she placed the sweet smelling funnel cake on the counter next to the register.

Sehun was busy eyeing the delectable golden sweet, so I answered for the both of us. "It was amazing. We haven't had good ramen like that in ages." I handed Clarisse the check and watched as she punched our order into the machine.

When she was done Clarisse looked up with a smile, "I'm glad. Your total is ₩15000." I handed her the money and Clarisse deposited the money while talking. "Ramen is food for the soul when made properly or that's what my Papa used to tell me when I was younger. He's the reason why I enjoy making ramen so much, I like to see people smiling because of the food that I make."

"I know what you mean. I make music for the same reason; the looks of pure happiness that a simple song can bring to people is happiness in itself for an artist. The way your daughter smiled when she recognized Sehun and I made my heart swell and honestly if it wasn't for our fans I don't know what I or EXO would do. We love all of our fans dearly and we try to let them know whenever we can." I laid my hand on Clarisse's and gave her a warm smile.

"Does your friend like funnel cake? If he stares any harder it'll runaway." Clarisse chuckled as she pointed to Sehun who had his face deathly close to the cooling funnel cake.

I rolled my eyes and tugged Sehun away from the tempting treat. "More like obsessed with it. It's usually the first thing he eats when we got to an Amusement Park."

Clarisse nodded her head in understanding. "How about I give you that one on the house? I've got more frying anyway." Clarisse grabbed the funnel cake and thrust it toward Sehun.

"Really? You don't have to do that. I can just buy it from you." I said in awe.

Clarisse shook her head, "No, no. It's okay. Consider it a gift from my daughter and me."

Sehun finally found his words and thanked Clarisse for her generosity. "Call your daughter, we'll take a picture with her and sign anything she wants. Consider it payment for the funnel cake." Sehun said as he set the now boxed funnel cake back on the counter.

"Karin, honey!" Clarisse called back to the kitchen. After a few seconds Karin came walking through the kitchen door.

"Yes?" Karin walked with her head down to her mother's side.

"These men would like to take a picture with you before they go." Clarisse pushed her daughter through the doors that separated the counter from the rest of the shop. Karin's face had turned bright red from Clarisse's news.

"Come on, love. We don't bite." Sehun held is hand out for Karin to take. Slowly Karin placed her hand in Sehun's and allowed herself to be pulled between us. "Okay, we're ready!" Sehun said as we held up the peace sign.

Clarisse pulled out her cellphone "Okay! One, two three! Say cheese!" The flash of the camera let us know that the picture had been successfully taken. I asked Clarisse for a sharpie so that we could sign the bowls that they had eaten out of as well as the counter where they had been sitting. We said our goodbye's and walked out of the ramen shop and back into the busy crowds of the Amusement Park.

Sehun once again linked his fingers through mine as we slowly made our way to the large Ferris wheel. "So far, this has been interesting. I got to eat good ramen and got a funnel cake free of charge!" Sehun smiled as he held the bag that held our funnel cake.

"Our night has just started and you're already calling it interesting." I chuckled at Sehun's ability to see the fun in a night that had hardly began. Sehun gave me a large smile as we continued to walk down the road to the Ferris wheel. I was just happy to see Sehun having a good time, I was no longer concerned about the looks we were receiving from many people because all that mattered to me was Sehun's happiness.


	6. Six

Author’s POV

Tao and Sehun walked up to the Ferris wheel with looks of pure amazement. "Wahh! It's so huge!" Tao said as he raised his head taking in the enormous view that was now before him.

Sehun let go of Tao's hand as he pulled out his phone from his pocket. "I should take a picture of this to show LuHan. I want to see the look of absolute terror when I show him how tall this Ferris wheel is." 

Tao let out a small chuckle as he watched Sehun with amused eyes. Am I willing to put aside my pride and fear to accept Sehun's feelings, Tao thought to himself as he posed in front of the large ride. "Come on, enough pictures let's hurry and get on." Tao pulled Sehun by the hand up to the entrance. 

The teen at the entrance gave the men a bright smile as they walked up. "Hi, how many?" The boy asked.

"Just two." Tao said as he pulled out his wallet.

"Okay, that'll be two tickets." The teen took the tickets from Tao and opened the gate for them to walk through.

"Oh! I'm so excited!" Sehun squealed as he and Tao made their way into the passenger car.

When Tao and Sehun were safely in the car the boy closed the door and locked it. "Have a fun ride." 

The car began to rise into the air at a slow pace. The walls of the car were glass all around giving the two men a great view of the entire amusement park as they rose higher and higher into the air. 

Sehun was in awe as he gazed out the car. He was taken away by the sight before him; the large crowds looked like small ants as they moved around the park. In a flash Sehun pulled out his phone, yet again, and began snapping pictures of the scene below. "Tao, this is amazing! Everyone looks so small." Sehun turned his head to stare at the older male.

What he saw almost made him drop his phone. The sunlight passing through the glass hit Tao's body at an angle making his skin glow. Tao's head was turned away from Sehun looking out at the setting sun. Sehun's eyes traveled down from Tao's reddish dark hair to his sharp nose and even sharper jawline. Sehun had to swallow the lump in his throat when he passed over the dark man's beautifully sculpted angel lips, all Sehun could think about was how soft those very lips had felt against his own. This is the perfect time to take a picture of him, Sehun thought. Trying to move quietly as to not set the panda off on what he was doing, Sehun lifted his phone and snapped a picture of the angelic figure before him. However, being the idiot he was, Sehun had forgotten to turn the flash off before taking the picture. The bright light caused Tao to jump in surprise making the car rock back and forth. When Sehun took the picture he had been balancing his weight on one knee and the slightest movement of the car sent him crashing into Tao. Thankfully, Tao had been resting against one of the only metal sides of the car, saving them from a possibly deadly fall. 

"Yah! Sehun! What the heck, you scared me." Tao placed his hand over his heart trying to bring his heart rate back to normal. When he was calm Tao looked down at the maknae sprawled over his lap. 

"Ugh, sorry. I was just trying to take a picture of you." Sehun mumbled as he pushed himself, quite regrettably, out of Tao's lap choosing to sit beside him instead.

"A picture of me? Why?" Tao asked as he pulled himself into a sitting position. 

Sehun reached for the phone on the floor and groaned. The meant-to-be-great-picture of Tao was instead a blurry photo of the seats due to Sehun falling. "Man, Hyung! The picture was ruined. Instead of you, I got a picture of the damn seat." Sehun pouted, upset he missed one of the most beautiful pictures of Tao he'd ever seen.

Tao let out an airy laugh as he turned to look out the window at the setting sun. The sky was painted in various shades of orange, red, and yellow as the day was quickly turning into night. "Sehun, the sky looks beautiful. I didn't know there were so many colors during a sunset."

"I guess you're right." Sehun said. "It sure does look amazing. When I was younger my mom and I used to watch the sunset every day. She would tell me the greatest feeling in the world is being able to watch the colors dance across the sky with someone you love. I never knew what she meant by that until now. Watching the sky with you is something I want to do all my life; if it's with you I can do anything." Sehun intertwined his fingers with Tao's as he continued to watch the sky. 

Tao felt like he had a lump in his throat preventing him from speaking. Sehun had been his best friend since trainee days and Tao thought very fondly of the younger male. Tao turned his body towards Sehun, "Sehun... I'm sorry. I-I'm no good for you but you say things like this and it makes me so confused. You're so important to me but I don't know what to do and I can't stand seeing you chase after me like this. It hurts." Tao bowed his head into Sehun's lap setting his head on top of their clasped hands. 

"Yah. Hyung,” Sehun set his cell phone down and used his free hand to pull Tao's face up. "Don't ever apologize for how you feel. I knew what I was getting myself into when I decided to fall in love with you. Sure, it hurts but just being by your side like this is enough for me. Just let me stay by your side until you're no longer confused. I'll always be your best friend no matter what you may choose in the end so let's enjoy the here and now and worry about the future when it gets here." Sehun planted a small kiss on Tao's head before letting his face go and moving back to the window.

He's too stupid for his own good, Tao thought as he and Sehun sat in silence. Wasn't it painful for Sehun to love Tao with all of his heart on the sideline as Tao hid his love and ignored Sehun's feelings? Did Sehun fall that hard for Tao? Tao wished that his life was one where he and Sehun could be together without any worries, but he knew all too well the dangers that his life fame with. There was no way Tao could let Sehun into something like that, the kid was too pure and soft-hearted to survive in his world. He has to come up with a way to get Tao to hate him so that he could let go of his childish feelings and remain safe. He knew he was being cruel but Tao didn't want Sehun to live in pain over someone who wasn't worth all that Sehun had to offer. 

"It seems the mood has gotten a bit off track." Tao blurted. 

"The ride is almost over, we're only a couple of feet above the ground." Sehun responded. Tao looked out the window and saw that they were about a good two feet above the ground. In a matter of minutes the car was back in its starting place. The boy who had seated them came and opened the door, before he slid the glass open Sehun let go of Tao's hand and stood up with his back to Tao. 

"Thank you for riding and be careful of the drop when you get out." The young boy flashed a smile towards Sehun and Tao as they exited the car. The cool night air caressed Sehun's face as he breathed in the refreshing air. 

Now that the ride had ended Tao didn't know what to do next. The air between him and Sehun felt thick and heavy making conversation painful. Giving up, Tao decided to walk silently behind Sehun as they wondered through the bustling Amusement park. Neither of them knew where they were walking to, as they were both deep in thought. 

Is it foolish of me to follow him so recklessly when I know nothing but heartache waits for me at the end? I meant what I said when I told him simply being next to him was enough for me to live. As long as he doesn't throw me away I can bear the pain. I can and I will for the sake of never losing him. If Mom could see me now, she would say I'm head over heels for him and she would be right. His smile is enough to make even the most stressful days' worth pushing through. Sehun smiled at the memory of Tao's smiling face poking through his door in the early mornings as he tried to wake him up for breakfast. It amazed Sehun how bright Tao was in the morning when he felt like the living dead. 

There's no doubt that no one besides my mom treats me as well as Sehun does. He knows when I've had a bad day even though I'm smiling and he knows when I'm faking feeling better after a bad fall during rehearsals. He's the one person who didn't base me off of my cold demeanor but crawled under it and saw me for me. The thought of losing him brings a pain to my heart but I can’t risk his safety for the sake of my own feelings. I don’t think I could handle it if something was to happen to him because of me. I knew what I had to do would break his heart but there was nothing I could do. My hands were tied. A tear slid down Tao's cheek as he made his decision. He hardened his resolve and told himself this was the only way he could make things right.

To others this may seem like an odd scene; two boys walking down the street one of them wearing a stupid grin and the other with silent tears calmly falling down his face. This pair was truly odd but they were made for each other like yin-and-yang. Together they are one but divided they are nothing. 

Tao pulled out his phone to check the time. Wiping the tears from his face Tao spoke up, "It's getting late we should head back to the dorm."

"Can we get some ice cream first? I'm suddenly in the mood for something creamy." Sehun asked as he continued walking.

"Yeah. Ice cream sounds great. Is there an Ice Cream shop here or do you want to go to one in the city?" Tao jogged the few extra meters between him and Sehun until they were walking at the same pace. 

"Umm. I'd rather go to the city. Their Ice cream shops are the best. They have so many different flavors it's great." Sehun said as he gave Tao a small smile. 

Tao returned the smile and linked their fingers together as they made their way back to his car. Tao's action surprised Sehun but it quickly passed as he gave Tao's hand a tight squeeze. His hand is warm. I can feel his heat entering my body through our skin and I like it, Sehun thought. 

********

"One chocolate ice cream." Tao passed Sehun his ice cream cone and sat down across from him in their booth. 

"Thanks for everything. Today has been fun." Sehun smiled as he swirled his tongue around his cone.

Tao took a small sip of his vanilla shake before responding to Sehun. "Good. I thought I had ruined it but I'm glad you had fun."

Sehun let out a snort, "You didn't even come close to ruining it. I mean I got a funnel cake! For free! Nothing could ruin the high I'm on now." Sehun went back to chaotically licking his ice cream before it could start running down his hand. 

Tao smiled as he continued to sip on his shake. The shop they were in was one of the groups favorite iced cream shops to visit. They came here together many times during their trainee days, unfortunately due their full schedules they haven't been able to visit as much as they like. Coming here with Sehun was renewing as Tao had especially missed the shop. 

Finishing the last of his shake Tao stood up and walked to one of the many trash cans where he threw away his now empty cup. "Are you done, Sehun?" Tao turned around as he raised one of his brows in question.

Sehun stuffed the last bit of his cone in his mouth as he nodded in response. Sehun got up from the booth making his way to Tao, "All done. Ready to go?" 

Tao reached out his hand and wiped something off of Sehun's lips. "You're such a messy eater. I don't know how you could be so messy with ice cream but you cease to amaze me." Tao licked the ice cream off his finger as he walked passed Sehun. 

Sehun stuttered as he turned and followed Tao out of the shop. "Y-You could have just told me I had something on my lip I could've gotten it myself." 

Tao turned his head and flashed a smile at Sehun. "Don't act like you didn't enjoy it. Besides there's nothing wrong with me doing it for you, right?" Tao walked to the driver's side and unlocked the door getting in. 

Sehun grumbled to himself as he followed Tao's lead. "Yeah but still I'm not a baby." Sehun pouted as he buckled himself in. 

Tao looked at Sehun and laughed. "You could've fooled me. Stop pouting or I'll really treat you like a maknae." Tao reached over and ruffled Sehun's messy hair. 

Sehun knocked Tao's hand off his head as he tried to fix his hair. "Jerk." Sehun muttered under his breath. 

Tao just laughed as he started the car and pulled away from the curb as they made their way back to the dorms. The city of Seoul was lit up in lights under the night sky as they drove. Tao loved the way Seoul seemed to come alive under the night sky as the city was illuminated in lights that attracted those whose life began under the night sky.


	7. Seven

Tao and Sehun made it back to the dorms in one piece. Tao pulled into a parking space, cut off the car, and unbuckled his seatbelt as he gazed up at their dorm. He could see the lights were off meaning his members were probably all in their rooms. We'll need to be quiet when we go in. I don't want to wake any of them up. Tao thought to himself as he pushed his way out of the car.

"They must have already gone to bed if the lights are off." Sehun said as he got out of the car.

Tao nodded his head in agreement. "Come on, let's go in."

They slowly walked up to the front door in a comfortable silence. Digging in his pocket, Tao pulled out his key and unlocked the door. They walk in and took off their shoes, leaving them at the entrance.

Sehun walked to the kitchen with his funnel cake and noticed a note hanging on the refrigerator. There was a message written in Suho's neat script, Sehun peeled the note off the refrigerator and read it to himself.

We took the rest of the members out to eat, so you and he could have the place to yourselves for a couple of hours. ^.< Be back in a few. -Suho&Kris!♡

Sehun smiled to himself as he shoved the note in his pocket. He opened the refrigerator and placed his funnel cake on one of the shelves.

"Tao? Where did you go?" Sehun walked out of the kitchen. He looked in the living room for Tao but it was empty. Hmm, he probably went up to his room. Sehun walked up the stairs and stopped in front of Tao's/Kris's room. "Tao? Can I come in?" Sehun waited for the panda's response. After a few minutes of silence Sehun quietly pushed open the door and walked in. The room was quiet except for the soft snoring coming from Tao's bed.

Sehun closed the door and walked to Tao's bed. The panda had fallen asleep after changing his clothes, he was wearing a pair of shorts and socks. His upper body was bare as he liked to sleep without a shirt.

Sehun let out a sigh, if he's going sleep bare chested he should at least cover up. Sehun slowly pulled the covers from under Tao and placed them over his body. Softly, Sehun, sat down next to Tao and ran his hand through the sleeping man's hair. He let his hand fall from Tao's hair to his face as he traced the sharp outline of Tao's jaw. "I want you so bad that it hurts. I already told you this but today was the best day I've had in a long time." Sehun placed his forehead gently on Tao's forehead and closed his eyes. "I love you, Tao." Sehun closed the small place between his and Tao's lips in a soft kiss. He was about to pull away when he felt a hand slide its way into his hair. Sehun opened his eyes only to find himself staring into Tao's dark ones.

Surprised, Sehun broke the kiss and turned away from Tao. "Sorry, I thought you were sleeping. I-I didn't mean to wake you up. I'll leave so you can get back to sleep." Sehun pushed himself off the bed but stopped when he felt Tao's hot hand wrap around his own. Sehun looked back at Tao with confused eyes. "What’re-?

Tao pulled Sehun down to his bed and sat up, letting the covers pool around his waist. "I was awake before you kissed me and if I wanted you to leave I would have asked you to go a long time ago."

"When did you wake up?" Sehun hoped Tao didn't hear everything he had said earlier.

"I woke up when you sat down after covering me with my blanket. Sorry for pretending to be asleep I should've told you I was awake." Tao squeezed Sehun's hand in apology.

Sehun closed his eyes in embarrassment, “You heard everything I said then?”

"Yeah. Today was one of the best days for me too. I got to spend it with someone who really means a lot to me and I realized things and feelings that I've always had but was too scared to accept them." Tao let go of Sehun's hand only to gently turn Sehun's face toward his own. "Sehun, today has made me realize how much I care and love you."

Sehun opened his eyes in shock, had he heard correctly? Of course not, Tao only cared and loved him as much as a best friend could. Nothing more, right? "You're only saying that as my best friend. You don't truly love me as I do you." Sehun closed his eyes trying to turn his head away from Tao but Tao wouldn't loosen his grip. 

"Sehun, look at me. I'm not the one to say anything if I don't truly mean it. When I say I love you, I mean it as more than what members and best friends are supposed to. Oh Sehun, I really love you and if I have to say it again I will." Tao connected his lips with Sehun's in a slow kiss.


	8. Eight

Authors POV

"Sehun, look at me. I'm not the one to say anything if I don't truly mean it. When I say I love you, I mean it as more than what members and best friends are supposed to. Oh Sehun, I really love you and if I have to say it again I will." Tao connected his lips with Sehun's in a slow kiss.

Tao broke the kiss and looked into Sehun’s eyes. “Do you believe me now?” 

Sehun wrapped his arms around Tao’s slender waist, burying his head in Tao’s bare shoulder. “Yes. I love you too, Tao.” Sehun whispered against his skin. 

Tao laughed and pulled them down to the bed. Both men were now sprawled across the bed as the held each other, afraid they would lose this moment if one of them let go of the other. Sehun propped himself up on his elbow and gazed down into Tao’s face. “Tao?” 

“Yes?” 

“Will you go out with me?” Sehun already knew the answer but he wanted to ask the question anyway. 

Tao gave a little smile, “Of course, but I have a request.” Tao’s voice suddenly took on a serious tone. 

Sehun was taken back with by the level of seriousness in Tao’s voice but answered nonetheless. “I’ll grant anything you want.” Sehun, too, became serious. If Tao went as far as to ask a request from Sehun it must mean something serious to Tao. 

Tao placed one of his hands on Sehun’s face, cupping his face tenderly. “Promise me you won’t cry. No matter what I do, don’t cry.” 

Sehun wasn’t understanding Tao’s request. His words confused him. “What do you mean? Is there something you’ll do that’ll make me cry?” Sehun lifted his hand and placed it over the one on his face. 

Tao offered Sehun a sad smile as he leaned up and kissed Sehun’s soft lips. “Promise me, Sehun.” Tao looked into Sehun’s eyes with a pleading gaze. 

Sehun searched Tao’s eyes trying to understand his words. “I promise.” 

Tao let out a sigh of relief, pressing his forehead against Sehun’s. “Thank you.” 

Sehun decided to drop the conversation as he yawned and snuggled into Tao’s embrace. There were a million questions running through Sehun’s mind but he was too afraid to voice them not wanting to hear their answers. Sehun screwed his eyes shut trying to make the questions in his mind disappear. 

Tao noticed Sehun’s scrunched up face and kissed his forehead smoothing out the worry lines with his lips. “What’s wrong, Ice Prince?” Tao asked, using the nickname their manager gave Sehun as a trainee. 

“Nothing, I’m just a little tired. Mind if I sleep with you tonight?” Sehun asked as he laid his head on Tao’s bare chest.

Tao ran his hand through Sehun’s blonde hair, working out the knots with his slender fingers. “I don’t mind but are you going to sleep in those clothes? You can borrow some of my clothes if you want.” Tao pointed to his and Kris’s shared closet. 

Sehun didn’t want to get up from his spot but his clothes were getting a little bit too uncomfortable for him. With a groan Sehun pushed himself up from the bed and walked to the walk-in closet. Opening the door Sehun’s eyes widened at the large amounts of clothing he saw. “Tao, which side is yours?” Sehun called out as he sifted through the clothes. 

“The clothes on the left are mine. If you need a pair of shorts they’re in the very bottom draw of my dresser.” Tao answered. 

It didn’t take Sehun long to find a black muscle shirt and a pair of black shorts to sleep in. Deciding it would be better if he changed his bottoms in the closet Sehun walked out with only the black shorts on. He had his shirt and pants in one hand and Tao’s black muscle shirt in the other. Sitting on the edge of the bed Sehun set his clothes on the floor and slid the muscle shirt over his pale chest.

“Hurry up and get under the covers before I freeze.” Tao whined as he lifted the blankets in order for Sehun to slide under. 

Once he was under the fluffy blanket, Sehun’s arms found their way around Tao’s slim waist. Tao turned his body with his back against Sehun’s chest. "This position is a little tempting." Sehun whispered planting kisses up and down Tao's neck. 

Tao let out a low moan when Sehun's lips brushed over the sensitive skin under his ear. "I-I thought you were tired?" 

Sehun smiled against Tao's skin, "Being this close to you makes me excited." Sehun moved his hips showing Tao just how excited he really was. 

Tao turned over pushing Sehun on his back as he hovered over him. Tao looked into Sehun's lust filled eyes his own lust rising as he sat himself on Sehun's lap. Tao let his hands slip under Sehun's shirt, Tao leaned down and pressed small kisses to Sehun's neck causing Sehun to let out small moans. Kissing his way up, Tao connected their lips in a heated kiss. 

Sehun's POV

I was surprised when Tao placed himself over me as I never imagined Tao as the assertive type but I enjoyed watching Tao take charge over me, it excited me even more. His lust glazed eyes met my own before he connected our lips in a heated kiss. I bit his bottom lip and was granted entrance. Our tongues battled for dominance until he gave up letting me explore his mouth. 

Tao moved his hands up to my chest causing me to moan into his mouth. In a flash I flipped us placing Tao on the bed as I leaned over him. Taking off my shirt I threw it the floor before capturing Tao's lips in another heated kiss. Tao broke the kiss when my hand made its way to the bulge in his shorts. 

"S-Sehun." Tao threw his head back moaning as I let the palm of my hand massage him through his shorts. Tao grabbed my wrist trying to stop my movements, I grabbed his hands and pinned them over his head holding them in place with one hand as I continued to massage him. 

Tao let out more moans as I increased the amount of pressure I applied. I glanced up at his face and nearly choked. Tao had his eyes closed tightly with his head thrown back against the headboard, his face was a beautiful shade of red. I was memorized by the panting, squirming figure under me and I felt myself tighten more against my shorts. I removed my hands and tangled them in Tao's red hair pulling his face closer to mine. "God, you're so beautiful it's driving me insane." I said before kissing his bruised lips. 

Tao broke the kiss as he placed his hands on either side of my face giving me a loving stare. "I can say the same for you." Tao brought our foreheads together, tangling his fingers in my hair. “I want you, Sehun.” Tao whispered in my ear. 

I propped myself on my elbows and searched his eyes. “Are you sure? I don’t want you to do anything that you’d regret.” 

Tao gave me a knowing smile as he brought one of his hands down to cup my cheek. “I’m more than sure and as long as it’s you I won’t regret anything.” 

I nodded my head in understanding and kissed his nose. “I love you.” I whispered against his mouth. 

“I love you, too.” Tao said before pulling the covers over us. 

Tao’s POV

I woke up to the vibrating of my phone. I grabbed my phone from the table next to my bed and unplugged it from the charger. Kris’s name flashed on the screen along with a few missed calls from my parents. I unlocked my phone and read the message Kris had sent me: 

To: Panda-shi  
From: Kris-gege  
By the looks of it, I see the date went smoothly? I didn’t want to wake the maknae up so I’m sleeping with Suho. Your parents called me, they wanted me to tell you your plane leaves in two hours. I can’t believe you’re actually going to leave, it’s still somewhat upsetting. I just hope you know what you’re doing, Tao. Are you still not going to tell Sehun-ah? I guess not. No matter what, you’re still my brother and a member of this team. I’ll not say goodbye, so goodnight. 

To: Kris-gege  
From: Panda-shi

Our date was a literal roller coaster. So many emotions that I couldn’t even think but in the end it was great. Thanks for letting me know, I missed their calls I was kinda busy. I know, I wish I didn’t have to go but Appa’s word is final. I don’t have it in me to tell Sehun after what we just did. I just can’t. Please, Kris-gege, don’t tell the others. I’ll always be your brother, forever. We Are One. 

I let out a quiet sigh as I placed my phone back on the table. I turned and looked at Sehun’s sleeping face. He had a small trace of a smile ghosted over his lips. I reached out my hand and stroked his face. “I love you so much but I have to leave you. I’m sorry, please don’t cry when you wake up.” I placed a soft kiss on his forehead before slowly getting up from the bed. 

I was met with a sharp pain in my lower back as I tried to stand. “Ugh, he was too rough and now I can barely freaking walk! Pabo!!” I gritted my teeth as I hobbled my way over to the bathroom. I decided to take a quick shower before meeting my parents. Thankfully, Sehun was still asleep when I stepped out of the bathroom to get dressed. 

With fresh clothes on I walked over to Kris’s bed and pulled out a luggage bag from under his bed. Just the weight of it in my hand made me feel sick as I knew the real reason behind my sudden withdrawal from Exo. I knew the day would come when I had to leave but I never imagined it being this painful. 

I jumped when I heard my phone vibrate again. With the bag in my hand I walked over to the table and picked up my phone. I had gotten a text from Appa saying to meet them (my parents) at the airport as they had something important to give me before I flew back to China. I knew Appa wasn’t expecting a reply so I slipped my phone into my pocket and stood up. 

I glanced at Sehun not wanting to leave his side, the guilt of not telling him eating at me. I knew I had to at least leave some type of note to ease his pain or at least that what I hoped it would do. I grabbed a pen from the table and a sticky note as I scrawled a message and stuck it to the cup of bubble tea that I had brought the night before. I gave a sad smile as I leaned in and placed one final kiss on his lips. I let my lips linger longer than I had planned as I felt him shift under the blankets. Surprised I jolted up but I calmed down once I realized he was still sleeping and had just shifted into another position. I let out a sigh of relief as I quietly made my way out of my room. I walked slowly down the hall, listening for any signs of my brothers still up but the dorm was completely silent except for the small sounds of BaekHyun yelping in his sleep. 

 

I made it downstairs without any incidents and was about to walk past the kitchen when the light suddenly flickered to life. I paused in my tracks as I heard someone clear their throat. Looking in the kitchen I saw Kris-gege and Suho-hyung leaning against the counters. I sighed and walked into the kitchen as I knew they would want to talk to me before I left. 

“So, you’re really leaving?” Suho-hyung said in bewilderment. 

I nodded my head in response not trusting my voice as I felt it tighten at his words. 

Suho-hyung let out a sad sigh as he walked up to me and pulled me into a hug. “I’m going to miss you, Tao. Take care of yourself, maknae.” Suho let go of me and went back to stand beside Kris.

Kris just smiled at me as he also pulled me into a tight hug. “Be careful Tao-shi. We love you, kid.” Kris patted my head as he grabbed Suho’s hand and pulled them out of the kitchen and back to Suho’s room. 

Once I heard the door close I turned off the light and walked out of the dorm. I unlocked my door and threw my bag in the passenger seat as I started the car. I looked up at the dorm for a last time before I pulled out of the parking lot and drove away. 

Sehun’s POV

I woke up to the light from the window shinning in my face as I buried my face under the covers. I reached for the familiar warmth of Tao but there was nothing beside me. I sat up in confusion as I flung the covers off the bed. Hmm, he probably woke up before me and started his day already. I stretched out my limbs before getting out of bed but stopped when I saw a cup of bubble tea with a note on the table. I picked up the cup and peeled off the note as I noticed Tao’s neat script. 

Good Morning, sleepy head. I’m sorry that I wasn’t their when you woke up. You looked so peaceful when you were sleeping that I didn’t have the heart to wake you up so I decided to write this instead. I’m leaving Exo and going back to China with my parents. Do you remember the promise you made me? Don’t cry because I’m not there, okay? Don’t be a baby and cry all night or the hyung’s won’t get any sleep, especially Suho-eomma. Oh Sehun, I’m sorry for suddenly leaving you like this. Please forgive me and don’t be sad, I know those words won’t be enough to soothe your pain. We’ll meet again. I promise. I love you…-Your Panda Tao. 

I let the cup of bubble tea fall out of my hand as I felt my world shatter around me. I felt my body move on its own as I ran out of Tao’s room. I ran to Luhan’s room unknowingly and forced the door open. Luhan and Xuimin looked at me with shocked eyes as I ran into Luhan’s arms as tears slid down my face. 

“S-Sehun? What’s wrong, are you okay?” Luhan-hyung held me in his arms as I let out loud sobs. I couldn’t speak as my throat felt as if it was blocked. Instead, I handed the note that Tao had written to Xuimin

“Tao’s gone.” Xuimin said to Luhan in a shocked tone. 

Luhan whipped his head over to Xuimin as he read the note to himself. “We have to tell Kris and Suho.” I let Luhan pull me along to my and Suho’s shared room. 

Author’s POV

The three boys pushed open the door without knocking surprising Suho and Kris. Once they saw Sehun’s tear-streaked face and the serious yet shocked faces of Luhan and Xuimin, Kris and Suho knew something was up. 

“Why is Tao gone?” Xuimin cut straight to the news as he wanted to know what in the world was going on and he had a feeling that Kris and Suho had the answers.

Kris and Suho looked at each other as they communicated with only their eyes. “He’s gone back to China for surgery on the tendons on his feet.” Kris lied. 

Xuimin narrowed his eyes feeling Kris was lying but decided not to push the subject. “Okay, let’s say I believe that but why didn’t he tell us? Tao-shi’s not the one to just get up and leave without an explanation.” 

This time Suho was the one to answer. “He didn’t tell you anything because he didn’t know if he was going to come back after the surgery. He wanted his hyungs to believe that he was leaving for good, just in case he can’t come back.” Suho looked over Sehun and he felt his heart break for the maknae. 

“That doesn’t make any sense! He could’ve at least told me! I’m his best friend.” Sehun said in a hurt voice. The tears started to come down faster as he remembered all the things Tao said to him the night before. “I don’t understand Hyung, Tao said he loved me but if this is what love is then I don’t want it!” Sehun’s legs gave out from under him as sobs racked his small frame. 

Luhan kneeled down next to Sehun and wrapped him in a hug. “Ssh, Sehun. Don’t cry, it’s okay. We’ll figure something out.” 

Sehun shook his head furiously as he tried to push Luhan away from him. “No! It’s not okay, my h-heart feels like it’s about to die.” 

Kris looked at Sehun with a sad expression before he picked up the younger male and laid him on his bed. Kris laid his large hand on Sehun’s forehead. “You’re burning up Sehun and you’re shivering. I think you need to lay down before you pass out.” Kris gestured for Suho to get a wet cloth and a bowl of water. Suho nodded in understanding and rushed out of the room. 

Sehun tried to get up but fell back when the room started spinning. “B-but we have to go f-find Tao.” Sehun tried to fight the darkness that was surrounding him.

“Don’t force yourself, Sehun-ah. Kris said you needed to lay down so just do as he says and rest.” Xuimin pulled the cover over Sehun’s shivering body before he pulled Luhan out of the room. 

Sehun gave up the fight and let his eyes flutter close. He let the darkness consume him in hopes of making this nightmare disappear, he desperately wanted to be back in Tao’s. The last thing he saw before he slept was Tao’s smiling face. 

Kris moved out of the way when Suho walked in with a bowl of water and a face towel. “He’s finally fallen asleep.” Kris told Suho as he sat down next to his boyfriend. 

Suho set the bowl of water on the table and dipped the face towel in the water. Once it was completely soaked Suho twisted the towel until it was no longer dripping water and folded it place it over Sehun’s feverish forehead. “He’s still crying though. My poor maknae, Tao should’ve at least told him the truth before leaving.” Suho grabbed Kris’s hand and leaned into his shoulder. 

Kris put his arm around Suho’s shoulder and gave him a hug. “I know. I told him to be careful when he told me what he was going to do but it’s not like we didn’t know he would be leaving. I just hope Sehun doesn’t destroy himself over this.”


	9. Chapter Nine

Tao's POV:

It's been a week since I left Korea and returned to Qingdao. Being back in my hometown brings both painful and happy memories but I'm happy to finally be back. I've missed my home and those I left behind so much but my heart feels as if it was torn into a million pieces. The price I'm paying for returning is far worse than I could have imagined. I just hope those back in Korea are not in as much pain as I am, especially Sehun. He's the last person I want to hurt.

I sat on the bed in my bedroom staring at my cellphone. I had cut off my phone after boarding the flight back to China. I didn't have the courage to leave it on knowing my brother's would blow it up with questions once they found out about my sudden disappearance. Now that a week has passed, I mustered up the courage to finally turn it on. Sighing, I pressed the power button and waited as the cellphone came to life.

My hands clenched when I saw Sehun's smiling face as my lock screen. With shaky fingers I unlocked my phone and was assaulted with numerous missed calls and text messages from my brothers. I opened my messenger and clicked on the chat that had the most unread messages.

To: My Panda

From: Sehun-Ah

Why?

Why did you leave me? Were your words all lies?

I-I thought you loved me? We even slept together! How could you?

Kris-hyung told us you left to get surgery for your feet but I know he's lying to us. What's the real reason? You could've at least told me. I feel like what happened was just a one-night-stand for you. I've never felt so betrayed in my life.

My heart hurts so much. I've broken our promise. Ha. I-I really hate life when you're gone. I want to die...

Suho-hyung told me to stop texting you but it's the only way I can deal with the pain. There's a little voice hoping you'd respond and tell me that you're coming back to me. I want to believe that it's true.

It's been a week since you've left... I guess you're really not coming back. I'm such an idiot. I was hoping for nothing and now I'm all alone. I wish I could forget your face and our memories. I would give anything to not see your face when I fall asleep. I have nothing but nightmares since you've left. You probably don't care though, seeing as how easily you left. I hate you Huang Zi Tao. I hate you with all of what is left of my heart...

My vision became blurry as the tears silently slid down my face. I stared blankly at the messages wanting to reply back to Sehun and tell him that I loved him; that I never wanted to be away from his side but I knew that was out of the question. If I kept falling into this state I'll never be able to show my father that I'm more than what he thinks of me as. In the beginning I didn't care what that heartless man thought but as time went on I started to get more aggravated by his snide remarks about me and my mother.

I was his only son, yet he treated me as if I was a stranger and Mother had to deal with so much crap from him. She said she knew what she had gotten herself into when she married him but I knew her better than she knew herself and I could see the toll it was taking on her frail body. I had decided that I was coming back to China when I heard her cry over the phone for the first time in my life. She always put up a front when I asked her if she was okay but that day she broke down while talking to me and I knew I had to do something. So, I told her to tell father that I was coming back to China to resume my training as the head CEO. Mother insisted that I stay in Korea and continue to do what I loved but I told her that her happiness and well-being came first in my heart.

I erased the messages and wiped the tears out of my eyes. If I was going to successfully become the CEO of the company I needed to harden my heart and push what happened in Korea to the corner of my mind. It shouldn't be much of a problem to do since I was originally a cold-hearted person. Forgetting those I left behind should be easy; I've done it before so doing it again should be a piece of cake.

Looking back to my hands I reset my phone to factory mode and erased all the contacts I had. I needed to cut off any and all strings to my previous life as I started my new life as CEO of Huang Co. Setting my phone back on the table I got up from my bed and walked to the closet. I had dinner with my mother and father in a few minutes and needed to get dressed. I chose a classic black suit and styled my now black hair in an up-do, showing off my forehead. I was in front of my body mirror tying my tie when I heard a knock on the door.

"Come in." I said in a loud enough voice so that whomever was outside could hear me.

I was still l fussing with the tie when I saw the butler, Sung Min, walk in. He bowed before speaking, "Sir, you're parents are waiting for you in the dining hall. Shall I tell them that you'll be down in a little?" Sung Min walked in the room and grabbed the tie out of my hands. I turned as he effortlessly tied the tie around my neck.

I gave him a grateful smile as I turned back to the mirror checking my appearance one more time before I spoke, "No need Sung Min. I'll walk down to the dining hall with you."

Sung Min nodded his head in agreement and walked out of the room. "It's good to have you back in the house, Sir. Many of the maids and staff members have missed you."

I smiled and followed him out. I placed my hand on his broad shoulder and squeezed, "I've also missed you, Sung Min. You're more of a father than that man ever was or is and stop calling me sir it makes me feel weird, just call me by my name. It feels great to be back with everyone and thank you for keeping an eye on my mother, I know she's trying to be strong for my sake but she's slowly ruining herself."

Sung Min chuckled to himself as we walked down the spiral staircase and down a long hallway that lead to the doors of the dining hall. "Of course, Zi Tao. I also raised Mrs. Huang when she was growing up, she's like a daughter to me. I-" Sung Min was interrupted when a maid came and whispered something quickly in his ear.

"Ah, if you'll excuse me Zi Tao, it seems my presence is needed in the kitchen. Please, continue to the dining hall and I'll be there shortly." Sung Min bowed before following the maid to the kitchen.

I continued the walk to the dining hall in silence as I prepared myself for the nightmare that was waiting for me. It took less than a minute to reach the large doors of the dining hall. I gave a slight nod to the maid at the door. She smiled and bowed before pushing open the doors. I let out a sigh as I walked through the doors; my parents were already seated at the table when I entered.

Mother was the first one to notice me. "Son! It's nice to have you back. I've missed you so much." Mother got up from her seat and rushed over to me, embracing me in a hug.

I laughed and hugged her back, wrapping my long arms around her shoulders. "It's nice to see you too, Mother. It's been too long since I've hugged your small frame." I broke the hug and kissed her on the forehead. I lead her back to her chair and helped her into her seat before turning to my father.

My smile disappeared when I saw another women sitting next to him. Stiffly, I bowed to him before greeting him. "Hello, Father." I said in an uninterested voice.

Father didn't bother to look up when I greeted him and continued to feed the women next to him. I swallowed down the bile that wanted to come up and seated myself next to Mother without another word.

"Zi Tao-"

I interrupted Father with a sharp tone, "Huang. Do not call me by my name in front of another women whom I don't know." I thanked the maid who sat down a plate of food in front of me before dismissing the remaining maids from the room.

Father looked up from his distraction and narrowed his eyes in my direction. "Mind your tone, boy. That women is no stranger to this house so you will respect her as if she was your own mother."

I saw Mother tense-up out of the corner of my eye and my hands balled up into fists. "I only have one mother and that woman is not it! Do not bring other women to the dinner table when I am present or have you forgotten who really owns that company of yours, Father?" I let the last words slip out with as much sarcasm as possible. I glanced to the lady seated next to my father and sneered. "Do not think you can walk in and out of this house as you please. That man has a wife and you're only digging your own grave the longer you hang around him. I suggest you leave immediately if you wish to leave with the slightest bit of dignity."

Father slammed his hand down on the table in frustration causing the glasses of wine to crash to the floor. "Huang Zi Tao! That is enough out of you! How dare you insult my guest in that manner. If I choose to bring women into my house, I will with or without your consent. Now apologize to Ai Lui!" Father's face was red in anger.

I steadied my glare and fixed it on Father. "I will not apologize to someone who comes and tramples in on my family, especially in front of Mother. I've had enough of how you treat Mother in such a rude manner. Just because you live in this house does not mean it is yours. I have every right to kick you out right now as the owner of this house. Mother left this house and the company in my name! All this power you think you have is just an illusion, I can easily destroy your very existence but Mother would be saddened if I was to do that. For Mother's sake I let you do as you please until now! Send that women out of this house if you wish to remain living with us!"

"Tao! Please, leave your Father be. I just want to enjoy this meal as a family since you've returned." Mother grabbed my hand on the table and held it tightly in her own.

I glanced at Mother and saw she had tears brimming in her eyes, I hated seeing her cry so I let out a sigh before looking back at Father. Now his eyes were red and he was slightly shaking.

"You talk as if you're a man! You're nothing but a man-loving pathetic excuse for a man!" My eyes widened in shock at his words. How could he know about Sehun and me? Father saw my expression and let out an evil laugh. "Surprised? I've kept tabs on you ever since you set foot in Korea. I know all about your little boy-toy Sehun-ah~. How can someone who loves a man scare me out this house? I would like to see you try, boy."

I tried not to let his words phase me as I picked up the knife next to my plate and twirled it in my hand. "Does it bother you that I love men? Are you frightened by that? It's not wise for you to underestimate me Father just because of my sexual preference. Don't ever say that name with your filthy mouth again." I looked into Father's eyes with a death glare. Without breaking eye contact I called for Sung Min. Once he arrived I pointed to the women next to my Father and spoke, "Please see that Ai Lui-shi is safely seen out of this house and back to her own or wherever she belongs."

Sung Min nodded his head and grabbed the women gently by the arm lifting her out of her seat. As they passed my seat the women stopped and bowed to me, "I-I'm terribly sorry for intruding b-but Mr. Huang swore to me that he was not married. I'll excuse myself, then." I nodded without looking in her direction. She left without another word with Sung Min guiding her.

"Are you satisfied now? You are no threat to me, boy, don't get ahead of yourself and return to your gay friends or whatever they are." Father sneered as he pushed himself away from the table and walked to the opposite end of the hall.

I became angrier with every word he said and clutched the knife in my hand with a death grip.

When he reached the doors he turned around with a smirk on his face. "If I was you, I'll be careful. I wonder what types of screams Sehun-ah would make if I got my hands on him? I'm dying to find out." Father turned back to the door and walked out laughing like a madman.

Without thinking, I threw the knife at the doors Father had walked through with such forced that the knife embedded itself in the wood of the door. I was beyond furious as I started to see red in my vision. Mother got up from her seat next to me and hugged me running her hands through my hair trying to calm me down. Her method worked as I let out a calming sigh and grabbed her hands in my own. "Sorry, mom. I ruined dinner." I whispered.

"Thank you, Tao. You've done what I've always wanted to do to your Father but I'm just too kind-hearted to say anything. Nonsense, you weren't the one who brought another women into our house. I'm proud of you, Son, but I caution you to control your anger when you're around your Father. If I know that man at all, if he says he'll do something he'll really do it. If you don't want harm to fall on Sehun or any other of your friends I suggest you play it safe. Your Father wouldn't dare go against you head to head in a fight but that doesn't mean he won't harm those you love." Mother sat back down in her chair and stared into my eyes.

"That's what terrifies me the most is him doing something to Sehun or anyone else. I know the reason why you sent me off to Korea was for my safety from Father but there's no way I'll let him harm those in Korea as long as I'm alive. Kris-hyung will protect them if anything happens." I squeezed her hands before placing them in her lap. "I'm going to go to the office and set up a few things before tomorrow comes. Sung Min is waiting outside of the doors for you, he'll take you to your room for the night." I got up from the table and walked out the dining hall.

Just as I figured, Sung Min was waiting patiently outside the dining hall. "Shall I take her to her quarters?" he asked.

I nodded my head before speaking, "I'll be leaving the house for a few hours. I told Mother I was going to the office but I need to meet up with a few people. Father is in an agitated mood so keep watch over Mother's room and don't let him into her room at all. You may use force to restrain him if necessary. Oh and tell the maids that there is a knife in one of the doors that needs to be removed." I gave an apologetic smile as I passed Sung Min.

Sung Min gave a baffled laugh before he entered the dining hall. I quickly made my way to the front of the house and grabbed my car keys from the wall and headed to the garage. "If its war he wants, then he better prepare for the worst battle in his life." I sneered as I sped out of the garage.

Sehun's POV:

I woke up this morning with another splitting headache from crying all night, again. I knew what I was doing wasn't good for me but I didn't know any other way to deal with the pain and crying seemed like the only thing I could do. Yesterday marked a week since Tao left the group but it seemed like it was only yesterday that I held him in my arms.

I groaned as I pulled myself out of bed and into the restroom to wash up before heading downstairs for breakfast. Once I was done with my shower I wrapped a towel around my waist and walked into the closet picking random clothes to wear for our morning schedule. When I was done getting dressed I walked back into the bathroom and looked at my face in the mirror. Even though I had taken a shower and washed my face, my cheeks still looked puffy and I had deep bags under my eyes. I let out a sigh of frustration knowing Suho would go crazy when he saw how horrible I looked. I put concealer under my eyes hoping to hide the dark circles. I had just put away the concealer when I heard a knock on the door. I walked out of the bathroom and opened the door.

Kris was leaning against the door frame when I opened the door. "Sehun-ah, hurry up and come down for breakfast before we leave for our schedules."

"I'm going now, Hyung." I quickly walked past Kris with my head slightly down not wanting him to notice my face but Kris's eyes were sharp.

Kris grabbed my wrist with his hand and spun me around so I was facing him. "Hold on, your face looks a little puffy this morning. Were you crying again last night?" Kris brought my face up to his own and searched my eyes for any signs of fatigue.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and shook my head, not trusting my voice. I gave him a small smile and gently pulled my face out of his grasp I quickly made my way down stairs before Kris could tell I was lying.

Once I made it down stairs I walked to the table and plopped myself down next to LuHan. "It's about time you brought your lazy butt down. Suho was ready to drag you out of your room." I watched as LuHan placed some pancakes on my plate before going back to mess with Xuimin.

I muttered my thanks and grabbed the syrup drizzling some over my pancakes before digging in.

"LuHan's right, I was about to drag you by any means necessary down for breakfast. You're lucky Kris offered to see if you were awake before I made it out of the kitchen." Suho set down a glass of orange juice next to my plate and seated himself next to me.

I swallowed down the pancakes with a swig of orange juice before speaking, "Thanks, Hyung, the pancakes are great." I hesitated to ask my next question knowing the topic of Him was out of question but I couldn't act like the rest of the members, I can't act as if everything is okay because it's not. "H-Have you heard anything about T-Tao?" I whispered quietly as I lowered my gaze. Everyone at the table stopped talking and looked at Suho when I mentioned Tao's name. 

Chanyeol cleared his throat and broke the silence. "Suho and Kris already told us what happened to Tao. We just have to accept that he's in China getting surgery and continue with our schedules as planned."

I lowered my head even lower not wanting to hear that lie anymore. I know Tao didn't leave for surgery because he would've at least told me about the surgery. Tao, tells me every small detail of his life so something like this shouldn't have slipped past me. I was becoming frustrated and angry at my members for acting this way about Tao. "How can you guys believe that? It's obviously a lie, Tao would've told us about his surgery. He's that type of person. The fact that he didn't tell Manager-Hyung means the reason Tao left is something bigger than a damn surgery!" I got up from the table and ran back upstairs to my room. I slammed the door and slid down to the ground with my head in my hands.

"They're wrong. I know Tao and this isn't like him. He wouldn't leave without a reason, right?" I whispered to no one. I was starting to feel bad for yelling at my hyungs, I know they were trying to deal with Tao leaving as well and I just snapped when I heard ChanYeol telling me to move on with my life with or without Tao. I couldn't face the truth of Tao not being next to me; he was too embedded in my everyday life for me to go on without him. I can't fake a smile like everyone else and lie to myself. I just can't. I know I'm hoping for nothing but I can't help but think Tao's going to walk through the front door and back into my arms.

"Sehun-ah, it's time to go." LuHan knocked on the door softly.

I got up from the floor and opened the door. LuHan gave me a small smile and grabbed my hand. "Come on, the others are already in the van waiting."

I nodded my head and let LuHan lead me downstairs and out the door. When we reached the van LuHan dropped my hand and got in, I followed slowly and closed the door as I buckled my seatbelt. The van was quiet as everyone was in their own little world. It was strange to hear the van quiet, especially since ChanYeol and BaekHyun were the ones who were always goofing off. The tension in the van was suffocating to the point where Manager-Hyung turned on the radio hoping to liven us up, if even by a little. Unfortunately his efforts were in vain as the van stayed silent. I was beginning to blame myself for the uncomfortable silence when Manager-Hyung broke the silence.

"What has gotten into you boys? I haven't seen ya'll this quiet since the day Tao left." Manager-Hyung looked back at us through the review mirror as I squirmed in my seat.

"Sorry, Hyung, it's my fault. I got mad and yelled at them for no reason." I bowed my head in an apology. I turned in my seat and gave my members a small smile. "Sorry, Hyungs. I didn't mean to yell at you guys. Forgive me?" I tried my best at aegeyo causing ChanYeol to burst out laughing.

"We forgive you Maknae!" Suho gave me a reassuring smile throwing a pen at ChanYeol trying to get him to shut up.

"Yah! BaekHyun, make him shut up! He's shaking the whole van with his laughter." Kris cringed and covered his ears trying to block out the noise.

BaekHyun shrugged his shoulders and joined his boyfriend, they were laughing and mocking Kris-Hyung causing everyone to break out in laughter as well. I didn't notice myself relaxing until I felt LuHan poke me in the arm. "Hyung?"

"You're smiling. I mean really smiling not that forced crap you've been trying to do." LuHan lifted his phone and showed me a picture of myself smiling while messing around with Kris-Hyung.

My eyes widened as I realized LuHan was right. My face was bright with amusement and I looked as if I was having fun. I guess I don't need Tao with me to have a great time. All I need are my brothers to make me happy. "I am. Is it okay for me to do this? For me to feel this light without him?"

LuHan placed his hand on my shoulder squeezing it in reassurance. "It's more than okay. In fact, he would want you to have fun without him so that you can tell him about all the cool things you did."

I can do this. I can forget about him and live normally without him. Right?


	10. Chapter Ten

Tao's POV:

I came to a stop in front of a large gate and took out my phone. I dialed a number and waited for her to answer the phone.

"Hello?" A sweet voice asked.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and tightened my hand on the wheel. "Victoria, it's me. Zitao."

"Hmm, I never expected to get a call from my dear friend. It's been how many years since you left me and became an idol? Did you forget that you're engaged to me?"

I sighed and pinched my nose in frustration. "Victoria, not now. Is the code to your gate still the same as when we were kids?"

"I was only kidding, jeez, no need to bite my freaking head off Taozi. Yeah, it hasn't changed. Are you coming to the house?" Victoria asked.

I let out a small chuckle because I knew she was pouting by the way her voice rose just like when we were kids and I would scold her. "Sorry, I'm just a little frustrated at the moment. I'm already at the gates. I'll be there in a few minutes. Hang up."

"Okay." My phone fell silent as Victoria ended the call.

She still acts like a child. Cute.

Victoria was the only friend that I made while I was young as other kids saw me as mean and cold-hearted because I never talked or just gave everyone the 'look' as Victoria calls it. We've been close ever since the day I fell off the park swings and she offered me a Band-Aid for the scrape on my knee. 

*Flashback*

"Here, put this on. It'll hurt less."

I looked up from my bleeding knee and came face to face with a hello kitty Band-Aid. My eyes widened as I realized someone was talking to me. I couldn't force my mouth to open and just stared at the girl holding the Band-Aid.

The girl rolled her eyes and sat in front of me. I watched as she tore open the Band-Aid and carefully placed it over the cut. "There! It should feel better now." The girl looked up and gave me a big smile.

I still had tears coming from my eyes and nodded in agreement. "T-Thank You." I managed to mumble.

"Don't mention it! My name is Victoria." Victoria got up from in front of me and sat down next to me.

"I'm Zitao." I was a little confused as to why this girl was talking to me. I knew the kids in my neighborhood were scared of me and it was strange to see her talk and smile to me but something told me she wasn't normal like the other kids.

Victoria extended her hand and grabbed mine in a handshake. "Cool! Let's be friends for a long time, okay?" 

Her hand was soft and warm reminding me of my mom. "Okay." I smiled and shook her hand as tight as I could for a five year-old.

"Promise?"

"Promise." We hooked our pinkies and sealed the promise with a stamp of our thumbs.

*End of Flashback*

I smiled at the memory of our first meeting and punched Victoria's birthday into the number pad and waited as the gates slowly opened. Once the gates were open, I drove up the long driveway and pulled in front of her house. Cutting off the car I unbuckled my seatbelt and got out. I stuffed my keys in my pocket and walked up the small set of stairs until I was face to face with the door. Without hesitating I knocked on her door and waited for one of her maids to open the door and greet me. I was a bit surprised when Victoria opened the door.

Victoria smiled and grabbed my hand. "Come on, don't just stand there."

Victoria pulled me into her house and closed the door. "Where are your maids?" I slipped out of my shoes and slid my feet into a pair of house slippers.

"I sent them on vacation for a couple of months while my parents are away. I don't have any use of them since I know how to do almost everything. So, why the sudden visit Taozi?" Victoria dropped my hand and stood in front of me with her hands on her hips.

I rubbed the back of my head, trying to figure out how I was going to explain this to her. "Um, I actually need to speak with you about something serious."

Victoria removed her hands from her hips and stepped closer to me. "The last time you said something like that was when you told me you were leaving to Korea. What happened this time?"

I looked around the hall we were standing in and glanced back at Victoria. "Let's go and talk somewhere more private?" I suggested.

Victoria nodded her head in agreement, "Let's go to my room and talk there or would you like to go somewhere else?"

I smiled at her thoughtfulness and shook my head. "Your room is fine. I haven't been here in a while so you'll have to lead the way."

"It's cool, just follow me." Victoria turned on her heel and walked to a set of stairs. I followed her up the stairs and down a hall. We passed a couple of doors before we came to a stop in front a white door with a small drawing of a flower on the front.

Victoria opened the door and walked in. "Besides the furniture, my room hasn't changed much since you left. So make yourself at home." Victoria sat down on her bed and patted the spot next to her.

I smiled to myself and nodded. "I see your love for the color pink hasn't changed?" I said as I pointed to her pink colored walls and the bed that we were both seated on.

"Of course not! You of all people should know how much I love the color pink but you're not here to talk about my love for pink. So, what's on your mind Taozi?" Victoria's face became serious as she positioned herself in a way that her back was leaning against her bed frame.

I scratched the back of my head, how was I going to tell her that I needed to marry her as soon as possible? I know there's no way I can ask her the usual way because my heart already belongs to someone else but there was a time when I did love Victoria and I don't want her to think I'm playing with her feelings. If I'm serious about taking the company then I have to ask her; she's the only one besides Sehun and mother that have a piece of my heart and I know I can trust her.

Taking a deep breath I looked Victoria in the eyes. "What I'm about to ask may sound totally crazy and inappropriate but I want you to know that I'm not trying to play with you, okay?"

Victoria's face twisted in confusion but remained silent, so I continued. "I came back from Korea to take over the company and kick my father out of the family for mother's sake. She's too nice and weak to do it herself and I'm tired of watching her force herself to smile trying to make things seem like they're okay. I know in order to succeed my father I need to have a wife or fiancé. I've known you almost all my childhood and you're my first love and best friend, Victoria. We've known each other's feelings since we were young and mine have changed but that doesn't mean that I don't hold you as someone special to me. You're the only one I trust enough to ask this favor from. Will you marry me and help me take down my father?" My hands were clenched around each other shaking slightly with nervousness. My eyes scanned over her face but I couldn't read her at all. I waited a few minutes, letting the information and my request sink in. I know that I'm asking a lot from Victoria but I need her to say yes in order to protect the people that mean the most to me from my father.

"Why me?" Victoria pushed herself off the bed and walked to the window seat on the other side of the room.

I sighed and followed her. "I know it's not right of me to ask you this but you're the only one I can turn to for help. I can't marry Sehun because we're from two different worlds and I can't drag him into this hellish life. You and I on the other hand are more than use to this world and we know what it takes to survive. I wouldn't ask any other person to be my fiancé but you because I know how much you care for me and that alone tells me that you won't betray me." I rested my hands on her shoulders and leaned my head on her back.

"I'll marry you but only on the condition that when we're not making a public appearance that you don't act as if we're married. That'll be easier for me to handle. I don't care if I get hurt in this but I want to help you because I know how much you hate your father and I want you to make it work with Sehun. I can tell how much you love him when you say his name. When this is over I want to get a divorce and marry a man who'll love me the same way I love him." I felt Victoria lower her head as tears ran down her face. I couldn't force any words out of my mouth so I turned her around and wrapped my arms around her shoulders in a hug. I let her cry into my suit until my shoulder was soaked with her tears.

After a few minutes of hiccupping Victoria lifted her head and wiped the stray tears out of her eyes. "I'm sorry for crying so much. I don't even know why I'm crying, I should be happy and asking you where my 24 karat ring is?" Victoria forced out a small laugh and stepped out of my arms.

I gave her a small smile as I wiped a tear from her cheek. "Thank you for helping me, I promise I won't forget this Victoria. I knew I could count on you to help me and I'll get you a 24 karat ring. I'll pick it out with you this weekend, think of it as our first 'date'."

Victoria's eyes widened in excitement at the mention of going out this weekend. "Can we go shopping too? I want to go shopping so bad, my father hasn't let me leave the house alone since he left and the wait staff isn't here anymore so I don't have anyone to accompany me but now I have you! Yes!" Victoria pumped her fist up and down in ecstasy.

I couldn't help but laugh at how excited she was getting over the thought of shopping. "Yes, I'll take you shopping too. Jeez, you're acting like a little princess, V."

Victoria stopped jumping and gave me a large smile causing her eyes to disappear. "That's what happens when you've been alone for almost two months. You get a little crazy." 

Rolling my eyes I shoved my hands into my pants pocket and leaned against the pale pink dresser next to her bed. "I guess I can't have you staying alone in this large house, so I'll let you come over to mine. I know your father won't mind since he's the one who urged me to pay you a visit while I was in Korea. Pack up, V, you're moving in with me until your parents get back."

"What! I'm perfectly fine on my own! I don't need you to babysit me." Victoria sat on the window seat and puffed out her cheeks.

I shrugged my shoulders, "That's cool with me, I mean we don't have to go shopping this weekend or anything. I'll just spend my money on someone else."

Victoria jumped up from her seat and ran to me, clinging to my arm. "No, I want to go shopping! Okay, okay, I'll pack some clothes and go to your stupid house! You know this is like technically kidnapping me!"

"Whatever, I'm going to the kitchen so hurry up and pack before I change my mind."

Victoria pouted and let go of my arm as she walked to her closet. "You remember where it is, right?" She asked.

"Um, yeah. I just have to walk back down the stairs and take a left?" I asked.

"I knew you were smart." Victoria yelled from her closet.

Rolling my eyes I walked out of the room and down the hallway until I reached the staircase. I let one of my hands glide down the wooden railing as I slowly walked down. I was on the last step when my phone vibrated in my pocket.  Pulling my phone out I glanced at the screen, Kris's name flashed across the screen in bold letters.  I knew I couldn't avoid Kris's call as he was the only way I could keep tabs on Sehun.

Swiping my finger across the answer button I brought my phone up to my ear. "Yifan?" I was surprised to hear my voice come out stable contrary to the nerves that were bouncing in my head.

"Yeah, it's me."

My grip on the rail tightened as I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat. "How is he? Sehun, how is he?" I've been waiting for Kris to call me as he was my only source of information when it came to Sehun.

Through the phone I heard him let out a sigh. "He's getting by. He cries himself to sleep every night when he thinks everyone is asleep. LuHan is helping him get over you but its not going very well. Tao, are you sure this is what you want?"

I was having a hard time controlling my emotions that I had meticulously restrained and hidden. Just the mention of his name brought tears to my eyes. I had to take a few breaths to stable my voice before I spoke. "This was exactly the type of thing I was afraid of. Of course this isn't what I want but I don't have a choice, Kris." My voice trembled at the end as tears slid down my cheek. I ran my hand through my hair in frustration.

"Tao, at least contact Sehun and tell him why you left. Sehun is so in love with you and if you would just tell him the truth I know he would understand." Kris pleaded.

"How am I supposed to explain to him that I have to take over the family company and get married to someone who isn't him? How do I tell him, Kris?! How?"

"If you don't tell him before your 'marriage' hits the news then you're going to be in some deep shit. Trust me, tell him now so he won't have any misunderstandings. You and I both know how sensitive Sehun is. If you really don't want to keep hurting him then talk to him, Tao."

I know Kris is right but I don't have the heart to tell him the truth.  "I can't do it. I don't want to hear his voice; I just want him to forget about me.  I have to go, Yifan. I'll call you later."

"Tao, I'm serious you need to talk to him." 

I let out a sigh and rubbed my eyes. "I gotta go." I didn't wait for his reply and hung up the phone. I'm not prepared to deal with Sehun right now. The last thing I need in my life is having to explain to Sehun about the life I live. I don't want to drag him in the mess I'm in because I don't want him to get hurt.

I heard Victoria walking down the stairs and quickly wiped the tears from my eyes. I hate letting people see me cry and Victoria wasn't an exception.

"Taozi? I thought you were going to the kitchen?" Victoria asked as she struggled with her suitcase.

I turned around and smiled, Victoria looked like she was wrestling her suitcase downstairs but the suitcase looked like it was winning. "Here, let me help you." Getting up I jogged up the few steps that separated us and grabbed the handle of the suitcase out of her hand.

"Thanks, I was three seconds away from just letting it fall down the stairs. Anyway, why were you sitting on the bottom step?" Victoria and I walked down the stairs side by side as I held her suitcase.

"It was nothing. I had just gotten a call from Yifan. You remember him, right?" Victoria had met the members a year ago when she visited Seoul with her father and decided to visit me. I remember when she came how excited she was to meet everyone. Sehun on the other hand was upset with how touchy she was being with me. We even had a little fight over it after she left.

"Um, he's the really tall one with those really funky eyebrows?" Victoria pointed to her eyebrows and wiggled them in exaggeration.

I smirked and let out a small laugh. "Yeah, that's the one. Anyway he was just calling to tell me a few things I asked him about earlier."

"I didn't know you still kept contact with your members? I would've thought you cut off all interactions with them but I guess not."

"Not quite. I only talk to Yifan, he's the only one who really knows why I left and he's doing me a favor too." I lowered my eyes to the steps and dropped the topic. I don't feel like explaining to Victoria about the conversation between Yifan and me. I'm still trying to get my emotions under control.

Victoria sensed my mood and remained silent until we reached the end of the staircase. "Anyway, let's go! I'm ready to shop til' I drop!" Victoria grabbed my free hand and pulled us to the door.

I rolled my eyes but cracked a smile. Victoria always knew how to bring me out of a slump. "Okay! I'm coming, just don't spend all my money! I'm not rich you know." I slid into my shoes and helped Victoria into hers.

Victoria gave me toothy grin and linked her arm with mine. "Of course! I'm the rich one between us. I got all the money!"

"If you got so much money then buy your own clothes." I said as we walked to my car.

Victoria lightly slapped my arm. "Hey! Be the gentlemen and buy me stuff or I'll think you're a bad date."

"Whatever. You're lucky I'm a gentlemen or I would've let your butt struggle down the stairs with this luggage." Once we reached my car I opened the trunk and gently set Victoria's luggage inside of the fairly large space.

I closed the trunk and walked to the driver's side. "Okay, let's go."

"Yayyyy!!!!!!!" Victoria squealed before opening the passenger door and getting in.

'What have I gotten myself into this time? This was going to be one interesting 'date'.' I thought to myself.


	11. Chapter Eleven

Sehun's POV

"Sehun, go get Kris and tell him that dinner is ready before I drag him down the stairs myself." KyungSoo yelled from the kitchen.

"Okay, Hyung."

Thankfully, I was already on my way up the stairs so I didn't mind getting Kris. I bounded the stairs two-by-two and cleared them in a manner of minutes. Once I was at the top of the stairs I stopped and got my breathing under control, jeez, these last few weeks of not exercising have killed my stamina! Finally, I got my breathing back to normal and started the walk to our shared room. I came to the door and stopped when I heard Kris's voice flow out from the room. I slowly crept up to the door and cracked it just a little so I could hear what he was talking about.

"LuHan is helping him get over you but it's not going very well. Tao, are you sure this is what you want?" 

"This was exactly the type of thing that I was afraid of. Of course this isn't what I want but I don't have a choice, Kris."

The sound of His voice sent chills down my spine. Every fiber of my body  wanted to burst into the room but I was rooted in my spot. I honed in on the conversation and listened in disbelief.

"Tao, at least contact Sehun and tell him why you left. Sehun is so in love with you and if you would just tell him the truth I know he would understand." Kris sounded like he was pleading. His voice held so much emotion that it frightened me.

"How am I supposed to explain to him that I have to take over the family company and get married to someone who isn't him? How do I tell him, Kris?! How?"

"If you don't tell him before your 'marriage' hits the news then you're going to be in some deep shit. Trust me, tell him now so he won't have any misunderstandings. You and I both know how sensitive Sehun is. If you really don't want to keep hurting him then talk to him, Tao." Kris let out a sigh of frustration.

"I can't do it. I don't want to hear his voice; I just want him to forget about me.  I have to go, Yifan. I'll call you later." Tao's voice sounded tired. It took all of me to hold back the tears that threatened to spill from my eyes.

"Tao, I'm serious you need to talk to him."

"I gotta go." Tao ended the call and I slowly slid down to the floor. This time I couldn't stop the tears from falling from my eyes.  It's been so long since I've heard his voice and it felt like I was being torn apart. I wanted to run into the room and ask Kris what the hell Tao meant about getting married. A million thoughts were running through my mind as I sat on the floor letting the tears fall freely until I heard Kris moving around in the room.

I quickly got up and wiped the tears from my eyes, I swore to myself that I wouldn't cry anymore in front of my Hyungs. I didn't want to worry them any more than what I already have.  I was able to calm myself down when Kris walked through the door.

"Kris, Kyungsoo told me to come get you for dinner before he dragged you down himself." I cleared my throat and winced when it felt like sandpaper was being rubbed against the inside of my throat.

Worry flashed in Kris's eyes but the emotion was gone as quickly as it appeared as he forced a smile. "Thanks. Lord knows how angry Kyungsoo can get if he has to get you himself. I still remember that time Jongin wouldn't come down and Kyungsoo literally dragged him down the stairs. Who knew such a small person could be so strong?"

I decided to play along with Kris and smiled with him. "Yeah, he's Satan-Soo for a reason."

Kris gave a hearty laugh and put his arm around my shoulder. "Come on, let's eat! I'm starving."

"Yeah, let's go." I was trying my best to act normal but all I felt like doing was crying. If it was possible I felt my heart break even more into nothing.

Once we got downstairs, Kris moved his arm from around my shoulders and caught Suho in a back hug before sitting down at the table. I smiled at the scene before my eyes; Xuimin and LuHan were next to each other talking sweetly, KyungSoo and Jongin were quietly arguing over the plate of chicken that Jongin was trying to hide, Chanyeol and BaekHyun were laughing at Jongin's attempts to run from KyungSoo, best friends Lay and Chen were going over a new song for the fans trying to ignore the noise around them. Everyone looked happy, like a member of the group wasn't missing. I felt like an outsider looking through a glass window on a happy family that I wish I had. I felt like a stranger among people that I once cried and bled with.

Slowly, I back out the kitchen and walk out the front door. I don't know where I'm going and I'm not paying attention to the people around me as I bump and pass strangers on the streets. I don't even notice the tears pouring down my face until I taste the saltiness on my lips. At this point I don't care who sees me or how much I cry. The only thing I hear is the conversation between Kris and Tao. The word 'marriage' taunting my ears.

I need to find a way to make it stop before I destroy myself. There's one way I knew how to get Tao out of my head and my feet knowingly dragged my heavy body to the red light district of Seoul. There was flashing lights everywhere and drunk men were calling out to one another. I lifted my head when I came to a stop in front of a familiar black door.

"I knew you would come back. They always do."

"N-Nick?" I managed to force out the man's name from my sore throat.

"Yeah, it's me love. Come one baby, I'll take you to your usual. He's been asking about you for quite a while." I let the familiar man lead me through the doors of the upbeat dance floor. I was still in a daze when we stopped in front of another black door but this door had the name 'ShaoLin' written in gold.

"Let's wipe those awful tears from your eyes, you know he hates to see you cry. Especially, if it's over that boy." I felt his gentle-yet-large hands wipe the tears from my eyes before opening the door and pushing me in.

The room was pitch black except for a dim light that outlined the silhouette of a lean body laying down on a high raised bed. "I told you it wasn't going to work out with that Chinese-Boy. Now you've come to your senses but it seems that it's too late for your heart? Am I wrong, Sehun-Ah?"

I followed the sound of the smooth deep voice to the foot of the bed where my eyes landed on a half-naked figure covered in a sea of red. "L-Lin, h-help me to f-forget him. I can't t-take it anymore." I let myself fall into the comforting embrace of ShaoLin and closed my eyes wanting to let go of all of the hurt I felt with this one night.

ShaoLin wrapped his thick arms around me and caressed my hair. I leaned into his mesmerizing touch and melted. "I'll always be here to help you, my prince. Come and lend me your body for the night and I will make you forget everything until the morning."

I did as Lin instructed and raised my head planting a deep kiss on his bronze lips. With that one kiss the voices inside my head stopped as I became lost to ShaoLin's gentle touches down my heated body. I raised up from the bed to straddle Lin's hips as my lips stayed connected to his. I let my hands run through his thick black hair and down his naked body.

I broke the kiss leaning my head against his muscled shoulder. "Please, I need you." I panted in his ear.

ShaoLin growled his response and pressed me down on the bed, hovering over me. "No need to rush, baby. I want to take my time with you. I've missed this body of yours ever since you got into that other boy. I'll make you remember how a man really fucks." ShaoLin removed my shirt and pants leaving only my boxers on.

I was so lost in lust that I didn't notice the sound of a camera coming on or the sound of ShaoLin's chuckle. The only thing I registered was the way his body felt pressed against my own. The heat between our groins was driving me crazy causing me to buck my hips into his. "Calm down, my Ice Prince-"

Hearing those words come from his mouth made my blood boil. I pulled his head down to mine and growled, "Don't call me that. He called me that and I don't want to remember him when I'm with you."

ShaoLin smiled against my lips before capturing them in a heated kiss, "Very well, my Prince. What shall I call you then?"

All this talking was making me impatient. All I wanted was to forget about Tao and have ShaoLin to myself. "Anything but that! I don't care just make me yours already!" I growled as I thrust my hips against his.

"I love it when you become aggressive, little lamb. My wish is your command, as always." ShaoLin pulled down my boxers and lifted up my legs, placing his member against me.

I don't even care that he didn't bother to care for me as all I wanted was him to be out of my heart and mind for good.   

***

Kris's POV:

"Have you tried calling his phone?" Suho came and sat next to me on the couch.

I had my hands tangled in my hair in frustration. "Yeah, it's going straight to voicemail. He must've cut it off earlier. Fuck!" I was beyond upset right now. Exo had a schedule in the morning and Sehun is nowhere to be found. I just can't believe no one saw him leave the kitchen. I can't believe I didn't notice when he left. I was supposed to be the one keeping an eye on Sehun for Tao and now I don't know what to do.

Suho pulled my hands out of my hair and wrapped his smaller ones around them in a comforting manner. "Kris, calm down. He probably just went out for a little walk and didn't bother telling anyone."

"Yeah, you know he gets like that sometimes and he always comes back safe and sound. Don't get yourself stressed out over this Hyung." Lay patted my shoulder as he walked by the couch I was seated on.

I wasn't worried about the fact that he left but more on why he decided to leave. Something is telling me he overheard my conversation with Tao. I got a nasty feeling in my stomach at the thought of what Sehun might have decided to do. "I know it's just I can't help but worry about him. Anyway, you all need to head to bed. We have an early schedule tomorrow whether Sehun is here or not. Suho and I will wait for Sehun to return. Go wash and go to sleep, boys." I leaned back against the couch and closed my eyes as everyone sighed and shuffled upstairs.

Suho cuddled under my arm and laid his head on my chest. We sat like this for a few minutes before Suho decided to speak, "What is really eating at your mind, YiFan? I can tell you're more worried than usual."

"Before I had come down stairs for dinner with Sehun, I called Tao. As you know he asked me to keep tabs on Sehun and whatnot so I called him earlier to tell him how Sehun was. Anyway, I thought I was by myself upstairs so I put him on speaker. You know me, I was trying to convince Tao to at least call Sehun and tell him the truth about him leaving and about this marriage he had to go into."

Suho nodded his head. "Uh huh, that's what you told me last time. He had to marry his childhood best friend in order to take his mother's company from his father, right?"

"Yeah, that's right. Anyway, I'm not sure but I think Sehun heard our entire conversation. The entire conversation and I'm hoping that he didn't because when I walked out of the room when I was done he was standing outside the door acting as if he had just climbed the stairs. When I looked in his eyes, I didn't see any signs of pain of betrayal or anything so I just dropped it." I let out an exasperated sigh and intertwined my fingers with Suho's.

"I think he heard your conversation because KyungSoo sent him upstairs for you and ya'll didn't come down until after twenty minutes. If it hadn't been for Jongin distracting KyungSoo, he would've gone up there himself. Oh man, my poor baby. I can't even imagine what his heart must be going through. To have the one you love most leave without an explanation and then ignore you for you to only hear them say that they're getting married. That boy has to be beyond broken." I felt something warm hit my chest and looked down to see tears sliding down Suho's pale cheeks.

With my free hand I wiped away his tears. "I know, that's why I'm so freaking worried about him now. I know how Sehun can get when he's on the verge of breaking. It's almost like the time when Tao first turned down Sehun and how far down he feel. He used to pull this type of crap back then too."

Suho suddenly sprang up from my side, startling me. "I think I may know where he is. Do you remember the couple of times when he would sneak out and we had to go to that one gay bar because he would always be with that man?"

My eyes widened in disbelief. "You don't think he could've gone back to ShaoLin? Fuck, we need to go and get him now!" I pushed myself off of the couch and pulled Suho up with me.

Just when I reached for the keys to the car my phone rang. Without looking at the screen I answered the call. "Sehun! Where the fu-"

"Hmm, so I get the chance to meet with you again, FanFan or should I say watchdog?"

My blood ran cold when I heard ShaoLin's voice on the other end of the line. "ShaoLin, where the hell is Sehun?" I forced through gritted teeth.

"Hm? Oh you mean Sehun-Ah? ZiTao's lover? He's asleep next to me at the moment. I made sure to tire this poor boy out after all the heart break your precious Tao gave him. You should've seen how pathetic he was! Practically begging for me to fuck him! Ha! There was no way I could've possibly passed up such a splendid opportunity, especially one as delicious as Tao's property." ShaoLin laughed through the phone causing my skin to crawl.

"You fucking bastard! Just wait til I get my hands on you, I'll make you wish you were never born!" I was beginning to see red with every word that crawled out of this slime-bags mouth.

"I can already feel the love and we're just talking! I would like to see you try watchdog! Anyway, I was just calling to keep you informed about your boss's valuable toy and where you can find him but this wouldn't be your first time, now would it? Oh, and I sent you all a little surprise, you should be receiving it in a few minutes. Tao's surprise may take a little longer but I hope you enjoy the sounds of our little Sehun." Before I could speak the line went dead.

"Y-YiFan. It's Sehun..." I heard Suho's voice crack with emotion. Turning around I go to where he is and look at his phone. Sure enough there were pictures of Sehun's naked body under the body of ShaoLin's. I looked up at Suho and grabbed him in a hug.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. Suho, look at me. I need you to get all of the boys' phones and have them meet in our room. I'll be back, I have to go and find Sehun before something else happens." I placed a small kiss on Suho's forehead and wiped away his tears before giving him a small smile.

"Okay, be safe. I'll see you later, babe." Suho griped my hand in his before running upstairs.  


	12. Chapter Twelve

Kris's POV

Running out the dorm I made a beeline for the sleek black mustang parked in the street. Without hesitating I swung open the driver's side door and got in. I didn't bother putting on my seatbelt and pulled away from the curb. I had only one goal in mind and that was to find Sehun as quickly as possible.

I knew Tao's father had sent the likes of ShaoLin to Korea to keep tabs on Tao's life and this guy was the lowest of the lows in China. I remember learning about people like ShaoLin when I was training to be a bodyguard while in China. My instructor told me that if I ever came across a group called 'Black Dragon' that I needed to be on high-alert as they were known to be working for some of the more malicious Top Dogs in China.

I was getting closer to the Red Light District when I heard my phone ring. I grabbed my phone form the passenger seat and answered the call. "Hello?"

"Kris, it's me."

"Is everything okay, Suho? I just left the dorm not too long ago." I was in the Red Light District now, I slowed down the car and scanned the buildings looking for the bar that Sehun liked to go to.

"It's Manager Hyung, he's furious. Apparently, we weren't the only ones who received the pictures of Sehun. He wants to know what's going on."

"Fuck man, this is getting out of hand. Tell him to sit tight, I'm on my way to get Sehun and then we'll head back to the dorm, for now, can you explain to everyone about what's really going on?" I spotted the small building and pulled up beside the curve. I killed the engine and got out of the car.

"Yeah, I can do that. Just be careful, okay? I have a funny feeling about something."

"Don't worry Junmyeon, I'll be fine. I'll see you later." I hung up the phone before Suho could reply and walked up to the entrance of the bar.

"Nick, let me through." I walked up to the man guarding the door.

"I'm sorry, Kris, but I can't." Nick blocked the door with his body and crossed his arms.

"Look, Nick, I've known you for a long time and I don't want to hurt you, but you're messing with things that have nothing to do with you. Now, I suggest you move out of my way." I wasn't about to leave without finding Sehun and if I had to fight I would.

"I don't think you understand the things you're messing with Kris."

"I warned you." I took a few steps back before rushing full speed towards Nick. I aimed a kick for Nick's head but he blocked it with his arm before swinging at me. I was able to dodge his hit and landed a blow to his cheek causing him to take a step back.

Nick spit out the blood from his mouth before regaining his balance. I didn't give him a chance to get up and landed a kick to his chin causing him to fall on his back. I walked up to Nick's motionless body and made sure I had knocked him out before running to the entrance and pushing my way through.

I had an idea as to where Sehun could be and made a run through the sweaty bodies of the men dancing. I swear I could feel some of the men groping me but I had one thing on my mind as I continued to run. I cleared the dance floor I ran down a dimly lit hallway opening every door looking for Sehun. I came to the last room and shoved the door open.

Unlike the other rooms, this room was littered with candles. In the middle was a king sized bed with red covers, in the center of the bed was the outline of a body under the red sheets. Quickly I walked over to the bed and threw back the covers. Just as I had thought, Sehun was dead asleep and naked. Letting out a sigh, I bent over and shook Sehun's shoulder trying to wake him up. It took me a few tries but I managed to wake Sehun out of his slumber.

"H-Hyung, why're you here?" Sehun's voice was raspy and shaky.

I took off the hoodie I was wearing and threw it at Sehun. "Here, put this on."

Sehun took the hoodie and slid it over his body. Thankfully I was a little bit bigger than Sehun so the hoodie went past his hips and stopped above his knees.

I turned away from Sehun and walked to the door. "Get up. We're leaving."

I stopped once I reached the door and turned when I realized Sehun was still sitting on the bed. "Sehun?"

"I don't want to leave with you, Hyung. I just want to stay here and forget about everything." Sehun bowed his head as he began to cry.

I walked back to the bed and grabbed Sehun's chin, forcing him to look me in my face. "Sehun, I know that you're hurt but this is not the way to deal with it. I watched you do this to yourself the first time and I'm not going to watch you do it again. I know you think ShaoLin is your only source of comfort but you're wrong. ShaoLin is someone you need to stay away from, he's bad news."

Sehun jerked his chin out of my grasp and pulled the covers up around his body. "But I don't fit in with you guys. Everyone looks so happy even though Tao's gone. I'm the only one who's in pain over this and the worst part is Tao seems to have gotten over me just fine, he's even getting married while I'm here destroying myself wishing he would come back to me."

I kneeled down in front of Sehun, so that we were eye level. "I take it, you heard our conversation earlier?"

Sehun nodded his head and pulled the covers around him tighter. "I hate him, Hyung. I don't want to see his face ever again. I wish I had never met someone like Tao. I guess I'm just a fool for thinking he actually cared for someone like me."

"You couldn't be more wrong, Sehun. Tao cares for you so much that he would do anything to protect you. I know what you heard may seem like he's moved on but he hasn't. He's very much still in love with you and there's people who want to hurt Tao and they will do anything to hurt him and he know's that. They'll even go as far as to hurt the few people he cares about and that means you, Sehun. He's trying to protect you." I grabbed Sehun's arms and pulled him up from the bed.

"I-I don't't believe you Hyung. You don't hurt the person you care about over and over again to just protect them. If he wanted to protect me he would tell me what the hell is going on. I'm so confused, hurt, and I feel so dirty. I hate myself for being like this but I know it's the only way to make me forget." Sehun put his head on my shoulder and cried. I didn't know what to say so I just wrapped my arms around him and let him cry.

"How touching! It seems you found your boss's beloved toy. I have to say I didn't expect you to get here so quickly, Watchdog." I turned my head and saw ShaoLin twirling a hand gun in his hand as he leaned against the door frame. I was so wrapped up in Sehun that I never heard the door open.

"I figured I would have to run into to you sooner or later, ShaoLin. I would have preferred later but I don't mind kicking your ass now." I let go of Sehun and placed him back on the bed as I moved in front of him blocking him from ShaoLin's view.

"As if you could, little Watchdog. How did you like my little gift? You all only got a peak of the present, your boss, however, got more than just a picture." ShaoLin threw a phone at me and I caught it effortlessly. Playing on the screen was a video of ShaoLin and Sehun having sex. Every little sound was clear and so was the quality of the video. I threw the phone on the ground ready to tear ShaoLin to pieces.

I leaned forward ready to charge ShaoLin but he pointed the gun in my direction. "Not too fast, Watchdog. I'm not an easy target like our buddy Nick was."

I smiled and straightened up. "Heh, I know how easy you are. I was trained to beat the likes of you." I reached under my shirt and pulled out the gun from my waist band. "Did you really think I wouldn't have come prepared?"

ShaoLin narrowed his eyes and sneered. "I wouldn't test your luck, kid."

"Well, seeing as you either let me and Sehun walk out alive or you kill me, I think I would rather test my luck because I know you're not going to let us leave and I'm sure as hell not going to die. Sehun, I need you to stay put on the bed unless you want to get hurt." I looked back at Sehun and nodded my head.

Without another word I charged towards ShaoLin. ShaoLin pulls the trigger on the gun and aims at me. I'm fast enough to dodge his bullets but one lightly grazes my left shoulder. I jump back and grab my shoulder, I can feel the warmth of my blood soaking through my shirt. I ignore the pain and run toward ShaoLin once again, this time I get close enough to aim a kick at his arm but ShaoLin grabs my leg and throws me at the wall. I heard a few cracks when I hit the wall but got up and ran towards ShaoLin again.

I was able to land a punch to his chin and kick the gun out of his hand. The gun flew to the opposite side if the room and landed on the floor. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sehun scramble for the gun.

"I wouldn't be distracted if I was you, Watchdog." ShaoLin kicked me in the stomach sending me to the floor. I lost grip on my gun as the air was knocked out of me.

ShaoLin grabbed my gun off the ground and stood over me. He pointed the gun at my head and placed his foot on top of my chest holding me down. His other foot was pressed against my groin as he dug his heel down. The pain was so intense that my vision turned white, I held in the screams and panted trying to breathe through the pain. "Not so tough anymore are we, Watchdog? I told you not to test your luck and now you're on the floor panting just like a bitch. Man, this has got to be the best night of my life! To have fucked Tao's bitch and then to beat the crap out of Tao's number one Watchdog!"

I looked over to where Sehun was standing in the corner. He was holding ShaoLin's gun in his hand shaking. ShaoLin followed my gaze and sneered. "Now, my Prince, what are you going to do? Now that you've seen the real me are you going to shoot me and save your friend? Of course not, you're too scared to do anything but shake. Boss, told me I could do whatever I liked with you but now that you've seen this I don't think I can let you live. Don't you agree?"

I watched in horror as ShaoLin shifted his gun towards Sehun. Everything seemed to move in slow motion; ShaoLin squeezed the trigger as I yelled for Sehun to shoot. I heard two gunshots fire off and heard ShaoLin fall to the floor. Once the smoke cleared, I got to my feet and looked around. ShaoLin was on the floor bleeding from the chest, without hesitating I kicked the gun out of his hand and picked it up.

I heard someone cough and looked for Sehun. I found him slumped over in the corner with the gun gripped tightly in his hand. "Sehun!" I ran over to him and saw he had blood soaking the hoodie from his stomach. I slowly lifted the hoodie and came face to face with a bullet wound. "Dammit, Sehun I told you to stay on the bed!" I glanced at Sehun and noticed his face had gotten extremely pale.

"I had to do something. Y-You were going to die, h-hyung." Sehun's voice came out ragged.

"Idiot. I wasn't going to die, I was trying to buy time. Anyway, we need to leave. I doubt ShaoLin is the only one who would like my head." I picked Sehun up off the floor and carried him in my arms. I stepped over ShaoLin's lifeless body and walked out of the door.

"We need to leave without causing a scene? Isn't there a way out of here, other than the entrance?" I looked down at Sehun for an answer.

"I can help you." I turned around and saw Nick standing at the end of the hallway.

I clutched Sehun closer to me and sneered at Nick. "Why would you do that? You wouldn't even let me in here. Why the sudden change of heart?"

Nick looked down at Sehun and smiled. "Because I really do care for Sehun and now that ShaoLin has been taken care of I am no longer under his command. I'm sorry for earlier but now I can help you escape. It's the least I can do, if you let me?"

I was hesitant for a little but something told me I could trust Nick. "Okay, lead the way."

Nick gave me a smile before he turned around and lead us through what looked like a hidden door. We came into another hallway that opened up to yet another door but this door opened up to the back of the bar. Once Sehun and I were outside, Nick told me how to get back to my car before going back through the door.

I walked as fast as I could with Sehun in my arms until I reached my black mustang. I balanced Sehun in one arm and used my free hand to open the passenger door. I slowly lowered Sehun into the seat and buckled him in. I ran around the front of the car and got in the driver's side, I realized I still had the gun in my hand so I reached over Sehun and placed the gun back in the glove department and locked it. I didn't bother to buckle my seatbelt and pulled away from the curb.

While we were at a light I took out my phone and dialed Suho's number. "Suho, I need you to call your Mom over to the dorm. We kind of have a situation." I glanced over at Sehun, he was breathing slowly and his skin looked even paler.

"What happened? Were you able to get Sehun?" Suho asked.

Once the light turned green, I pressed the gas, going faster than the speed limit. I needed to get Sehun to the dorm as quick as possible. "Yeah, I got him but not without a fight."

"Don't tell me one of you got hurt?" Suho's voice started to shake.

"We both did. Look I'll explain what happened when I get home. I'm like five minutes away, just call your Mom we're going to need her." I was weaving between cars like a madman, earning a few honks and gestures of gratitude.

"Alright. I'll call her." I ended the call and placed my phone on the dashboard. I glanced again at Sehun and noticed his head nodding up and down. I knew we were in trouble if I let him close his eyes so I nudged his shoulder until he opened his eyes.

"Sehun, try to stay awake. I need you to stay awake. Talk to me Sehun, ask me anything." I turned the wheel and rounded the corner. Our dorm was in eye view so I stepped on the gas harder.

"W-why didn't you t-tell me?" Sehun managed to whisper.

"Tao made me promise to not tell you the real reason because he wanted to protect you." We were almost to the dorm, only a few feet separated us.

"F-from what?" Sehun's voice was becoming harder to hear as his breathing was preventing him from speaking above a whisper.

"From his father. Tao knew his father would try to use you against him, in order to stop Tao from taking over the company." Finally, we pulled up to the dorm and I honked the horn signaling to Suho that we had arrived.

"Hold tight, Sehun. I'm going to come and get you out." I wasted no time getting out of the car and ran to the passenger's side, yanking open the door I unbuckled Sehun's seatbelt and gently lifted him out of the car.

By the time I got Sehun out of the car, Suho was running out of the dorm. We met each other on the sidewalk, "Is your Mom here yet?" I asked.

Suho's eyes grazed over my body, stopping at my shoulder. I knew it looked terrible but compared to Sehun's wound I looked as if I was merely scratched. "She's on her way. I just got off the phone with her. But what on earth happened to your shoulder?" Suho stepped closer to me wanting to get a better look at my wound.

"I'm okay, the one who you need to worry about is Sehun. He took a bullet to the stomach." I directed my gaze down to the fragile Maknae, he was shivering in my arms being that the only clothing he had on was my hoodie which was soaked with blood.

Suho followed my gaze and gasped. "Sehun!" Suho reached out and touched Sehun's face. I could see tears forming in Suho's eyes.

"Suho, not now. For the sake of the other members, don't cry. I need you to be tough for once, when this is all over then you can cry but not know." Suho looked up from Sehun and nodded his head.

"You're right. Sorry." Sehun cleared the tears from his eyes and moved his hand from Sehun's face. "Come on, we need to get him inside and change his clothes." Suho turned on his heel and ran back to the dorm. I followed as quickly as possible, trying not to move Sehun too much.

Suho was waiting for me in the doorway, once I made it past the threshold Suho shut the door and grabbed my arm. "I told everyone about everything. I don't know what they're thinking; after I told them they've been quiet."

"Okay, let's go." Suho pushed open the door and we walked into the living room. The members were seated on the couches with their heads down while Manger-Hyung was seated at the dining table.

When we walk in all eyes are on Sehun and I. The first one to move is Manager-Hyung. "Kris, what in the hell happened to you two?" Manager-Hyung got up from the table and walked to where I was standing.

"I'll tell you what happened as soon as we take care of Sehun." I walked past our manager and headed for the stairs. I could feel my shirt stick to my shoulder as the blood began to dry. It was a feeling that I didn't want to experience twice, I felt Sehun stir in my arms and looked down. His face was a pale white and he was covered in sweat.

I heard footsteps behind me and turned around. LuHan was running up the stairs after me with a worried look on his face. We didn't say a word to each other as we climbed the stairs. Once we cleared the stairs I made a beeline for my room. I was about to kick open the door when LuHan shoved the door open for me. I nodded my head and ran to my bed; I carefully laid Sehun down and lifted up the bottom of the hoodie. His stomach was covered in blood making it hard to see the wound.

"LuHan, I need a towel, water and some clean clothes. Can you get those for me?" I looked up at LuHan and waited for his response, for a while his eyes never left Sehun's body but something seemed to click inside of him and he nodded his head heading for the bathroom. It didn't take long for LuHan to return with a bowl of warm water and a hand towel. He handed them to me and walked to the closet where he started to search for some clean clothes.

I returned my attention to Sehun's stomach and began to wipe away the blood. I tried to be as gentle as possible, I knew just the pressure of the towel was painful. Soon, the water in the bowl had turned a light red from all the blood. I was so focused on cleaning up Sehun that I didn't hear Suho walk into the room until he touched my shoulder.

"Kris, Mom is here. She said she can take it from here." I looked up from what I was doing and saw Mrs. Kim standing in the doorway. I nodded my head and pushed myself up from the floor.

"Thank you for coming Mrs. Kim. Sehun is in pretty bad shape." I walked over to Mrs. Kim and pulled her into a short hug.

"No problem, sweetheart. Let JunMyeon look at your shoulder while I'm busy with Sehun." Mrs. Kim walked over to Sehun and immediately started to work on him.

"LuHan can you stay and help mom out? I'm going to go to my room and take care of Kris." Suho grabbed my hand and squeezed it.

"Don't worry, we'll be fine now go and treat YiFan." Mrs. Kim looked up from her work and shooed us out.

Suho lead us to his room and walked through the open door closing it behind us. As soon as we were alone Suho wrapped his arms around me. I wrapped my arms around him and stroked his soft brown hair. We didn't say a word as we found comfort in each other's arms. We stayed like this for a few minutes until Suho broke the hug. "Come on, let me take a look at your shoulder."

I follow behind Suho as he leads me into the restroom and sit down on the toilet. I watch as Suho moves around the restroom opening cabinets looking for the first aid kit, his face was pulled into a serious expression. Finally, he found the kit and stood in between my legs. I lifted my head and looked into his eyes giving him a small smile. Suho returned the smile and ran his hand through my hair, "I need you to take off your shirt."

I did as he said and slowly took off my shirt. Once it was off, Suho grabbed a hand towel and soaked it in warm water, he cleaned off the dry blood around the wound before carefully cleaning the wound itself. Suho put the now pink tinted washcloth in the sink and turned on the water, I watched as the clear water turned pink until it slowly went back to its original color.

"It doesn't seem to be that deep of a wound, there was a lot of blood for no reason." I turned my attention back to Suho. He had his head bent over my shoulder, applying some disinfectant before rapping my wound.

"I bet it seems like a scratch compared to Sehun's wound." I laughed.

Suho looked up from my shoulder, surprising me with his sudden movement. "That doesn't make it any less serious. It would have been better if neither of you had gotten hurt."

I was taken aback by the sudden change in Suho's voice. I placed my hands on his hips and leaned my head against his stomach. "I was only joking but I wish I was the only one who would've gotten hurt. I was supposed to protect Sehun, but he ended up protecting me instead." 

Suho lifted my head from his stomach and placed his soft lips against mine. I kissed him back and brought him down onto my lap. Before I could deepen the kiss Suho pulled back and looked me in the eyes, "Don't beat yourself up about it, babe. All that matters is that the both of you are back home. I surely don't blame you for anything that happened and I'm sure the others feel the same way." Suho placed his hand on my cheek and smiled.

I know Suho's right but I couldn't help but blame myself; if I had never ignored my gut in the first place and questioned Sehun when I had the chance he would have never left the dorm. "I know but-"

Suho held up a finger and stopped me, "No buts, this is not your fault. End of story, okay?"

"Okay, it's not entirely my fault."

"Kris!" Suho whined.

"Sorry." I wrapped my arms around Suho's waist and leaned my head against his shoulder. "Do we still have to talk to the others? I just feel like falling asleep right now."

Suho laughed and stood up from my lap. "Of course we do. We owe that much to them, don't you think?"

I sighed and got up from the toilet. "Yes, but I'm worried." I walked out of the restroom, grabbing Suho's hand in the process and pulled us into his room.

Suho pulled my hand, turning me around to face him. "Me too, but we can't lie to them anymore. Not after tonight. It's going to be huge shock to them but we can't handle things on our own anymore, we tried and things went all types of wrong. We need to show them that we can trust and depend on them and I'm sure they'll understand once we explain it to them. Trust me, okay?"

"Okay, as long as you're with me I - I mean 'we' can do it. Thanks for the pep-talk, I needed it." I placed a kiss on his forehead and smiled.

"Come on, it's going to be a long night." Suho smiled and pulled my hand.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Tao's POV

"How can you shop more than me? I thought I was the only one who took forever in the Mall but, damn Victoria, you spent more than 30 minutes in every store we went to." I complained in the driver's seat. I rubbed my shoulder, trying to ease the fatigue away after having to carry around her shopping bags.

"I am a girl, Taozi. Besides I can live in the Mall and would never get tired of shopping, there's so many pretty things to try on!" Victoria smiled and patted my shoulder. "Thanks for taking me to the Mall, I'll give you a shoulder massage when we get to your house."

I smiled and rolled my eyes at my best friend. "Anytime love, but I'll have to pass on the massage." I put the key in the ignition and started the car.

"Hmph, your loss Zitao. You know my massages are heavenly." Victoria pulled on her seatbelt and slumped in her seat like a child.

"I'm pretty sure what you call a massage is different from what I call a massage. Besides, no one gives a better massage than Sehun. I loved it when he gave me one at the end of a tough practice." I unconsciously smiled as I pulled out of the Mall's parking lot.

"As long as it's Sehun, no one is better. Not even me." Victoria's tone caught me off guard. I glanced at her trying to see her face but her head was turned to the window.

"Victoria, that's not what I meant-"

"It's okay, I shouldn't have said anything in the first place. I'm going to rest for a little bit before we get to your house. Okay?"

I knew by her tone that she didn't want to talk anymore. I decided to drop the conversation for the sake of both of our hearts. "Okay, I'll wake you up when we get there."

The rest of the ride was rode in silence, an unusual experience for Victoria and me. Due to the silence a thirty minute drive home felt like two hours. I gave a sigh of relief when I pulled into the garage and killed the engine.

I unbuckled my seatbelt and looked over to Victoria. I guess she wasn't lying about resting all the way back because she had her head resting on her arms fast asleep. Seeing her sleeping in the passenger seat reminded me of Sehun and I's date at the Amusement park, I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped my lips and lightly shook her shoulder. "Victoria, get up. We're here."

Victoria opened her eyes slowly, she looked confused for a few seconds before she realized where she was. "Sorry, I guess I was really tired."

I gave her a small smile before I opened my door. "It's okay, we did a lot today. Let's hurry and go in."

Victoria nodded her head got out of the car. "I can carry the shopping bags if you take my suitcase in for me?"

"Don't worry about the bags, I can get Sung Min to take them up for you." I unlocked the trunk and pulled her suitcase out. I dug around in my pocket until I found my house key. "Here, I don't think Sung Min has set the alarm for the night so the door is probably locked." I threw the keys to Victoria and pointed to the door.

"Alright." Victoria caught the keys with ease and walked to the door.

I followed her to the door and waited until I heard the turn of the lock, signaling that the door was open. I wasn't surprised to see Sung Min waiting on the other side of the door but Victoria let out a little squeal when she saw him.

"Oh gosh, Sung Min! You scared the heck out of me, standing there like that!" Victoria hit her chest with her fist trying to calm her heart.

Sung Min chuckled, "Sorry, dear. It was not my intention to scare you. I just thought I'd greet you two at the door."

"Sung Min, can you take Victoria to her room? I need to get some more bags out of the car." I handed Sung Min Victoria's suitcase before turning around and walking back to my car.

I opened the door to the backseat and grabbed as many bags as I could with both of my hands. "Damn, that girl can shop!" I grunted as I walked through the door into the kitchen.

There a few maids in the kitchen preparing a small plate of fruit. "Good evening, ladies." I greeted the three maids with a warm smile.

"Good evening, love. Would you like some help?" The lead Maid, Mrs. Lee asked. She also helped Sung Min raise my mother and has been part of the Huang family for generations. In fact, she and Sung Min are brother and sister.

I shook my head and placed the bags on the floor. "No thank you, I think I can handle these bags on my own. Besides, isn't it quite late for you ladies to be out?"

"Ah, yes. Sung Min asked us to prepare some fruit for your friend, Victoria. I haven't seen that child since she was still trying to learn proper Chinese." Mrs. Lee laughed as she placed the final pieces of fruit on the plate before sending the other two maids off to their rooms.

"I know, it's been so long since I've seen her too. Can I have a cup of water, please Mrs. Lee?" I walked over to the counter where she was standing and sat in one of the chairs.

"Sure thing, love. How was your time in Korea? I haven't had the chance to talk with my brother about your arrival and I wanted to talk to you personally as well." Mrs. Lee turned her back to me as she got a cup out of the cabinet.

"It was fun. I met some really awesome people. You could call them my extended family, a very large extended family." I smiled and looked down at my lap. I was about to look back up but I felt my phone vibrate. I slipped my hand into my pocket and pulled out my phone, I turned on my screen and froze. There was no mistaking it, the number on my screen was definitely Sehun's.

My heart began to speed up as my phone vibrated again. Sehun's number flashed on my screen again, I was tempted to open his message but something told me to wait. I let out a heavy sigh and shoved my phone back into my pocket. Suddenly, I wasn't in the mood to talk anymore, all that was on my mind was Sehun.

"...Zitao? Zitao, are you listening to me?" Mrs. Lee waved her hand in front of my eyes.

I blinked and looked up, startled. "Oh, uh sorry. What did you say?" I rubbed the bridge of my nose, stressed.

Mrs. Lee noticed the change in my mood and smiled. "Nothing, dear. It seems as if you have something on your mind. Why don't you go on up to your room for the night?"

Since I was a little boy, Mrs. Lee has always been able to read me like a book. Sometimes I hated it but other times I appreciated it, "I've been caught, Huh? I'll see you tomorrow, Mrs. Lee. Good night." I got up from the chair and picked up the bags off the floor.

"Good night, love." Mrs. Lee picked up the untouched glass of water and drank it before placing the glass in the sink.

I walked out of the Kitchen and let out a sigh, my phone felt like a brick in my pocket. I tried to ignore the weight when I walked up the spiral stairs but the more I walked the heavier it became. Finally, I made it to the top of the staircase and made a left walking towards the west wing of the house. The West wing was were all of the Women stayed at and the East Wing was the Male quarters. Mother was a modest women and she liked to run her house the same way.

I walked down the long hallway that opened up to doors on either side of it. The first couple of rooms belonged to the maid staff and after that were the guest rooms. Victoria's room was located a few doors down from the guest rooms as she wasn't considered a guest. When we were younger, Mother had one of the guest rooms transformed into a room just for Victoria.

I walked past the maids' room and the guest rooms until I was in front of Victoria's room. I was about to knock on the door when I heard voices flow through the door. It wasn't my intention to overhear the conversation but I couldn't help but listen.

"Uncle, what's on your mind? Something is bothering you, right?"

I moved my head away from the door, confused. Why is Victoria calling SungMin her uncle? As far as I know, SungMin didn't have any kin besides Mrs. Lee. That would make Victoria, Mrs. Lee's daughter or maybe SungMin has another sibling that I am not aware of.

I went back to the room and put my ear against the door, once again listening to their conversation.

"Nick contacted me a few hours ago reporting that ShaoLin and Kris had a confrontation that resulted in ShaoLin's death. However, Kris and Sehun were both injured in the process. I'm worried that Tao will blame himself for Kris and Sehun's injuries. Especially, if he finds out the reason behind Sehun's visit with ShaoLin."

Injuries?

"If ShaoLin is really dead, then there is a possibility that Mr. Huang has been informed already?" Victoria asked.

"I'm afraid so, as ShaoLin was Mr. Huang's right-hand man in Korea. With the way the tension has been rising between Tao and his father, I fear that Mr. Huang will try to use this situation to throw Tao off track." Sung Min let out a sigh.

The room fell silent for a few minutes before the vibrations of a phone cracked the silence. My hand automatically went to my pocket to check my phone but it wasn't vibrating. My focus went back to the room when I heard voices come through the door again.

"Hello, Kris?"

"Put him on speaker, I want to talk to him too."

"Okay. Kris, you're on speaker."

"Is Tao, there? I don't want him to hear about this." Kris's deep voice came through the door.

"No, it's only Victoria and I. I presume you're going to tell me what happened between you, ShaoLin, and Sehun?"

"How did you know? Never mind, I take it you know that ShaoLin is dead then?"

"Yeah. We know. Nick contacted SungMin a few hours ago with the news. Why did you kill him, Kris?"

"I wasn't the one who killed him, Sehun shot him trying to protect me and in the process ended up getting shot in the stomach."

My heart dropped when Kris's words hit my ears. Every bone in my body wanted to burst through the door and ask Kris what his words meant but something was holding me back.

"Is he alright? Sehun?" Victoria asked for the both of us.

"He's in a much more stable condition, now. Suho's mom is treating his wound but she says there is nothing more she can do if we won't take him to the hospital. Thankfully, nothing was seriously damaged. I managed to leave with nothing more than a bullet graze to my shoulder and a few broken bones from the fight."

I let out a sigh of relief and bowed my head, thankful that Sehun and Kris were okay but I couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to the story.

"What was Sehun doing with someone like ShaoLin? How does Sehun even know that piece of trash?" Victoria once again asked the question that was floating in my head.

"Sehun met him a few weeks after Exo debuted at a "club", this was during the time that Sehun started to have feelings for Tao but he didn't know how to deal with them since they were best friends. I should've stopped him a long time ago but I thought he was done with his shady night life after our schedules started to pick up. After three years, Sehun seemed to be dealing with his feelings for Tao but after our promotions for Call Me Baby he started going out late at night again and wouldn't return again until early in the morning and sometimes he would get so drunk that Nick would call me to pick him up from the club. To make this long story short, ShaoLin was Sehun's way of 'dealing' with his pain. For ShaoLin, Sehun was an easy target for him to get close to Tao."

"Dammit, we should've known that ShaoLin would do something like that! That poor boy, he's been pulled into something he doesn't deserve and now he's gotten hurt." Victoria's voice was filled with sadness mixed with anger.

I knew I never should have dragged him into this. What the hell was I thinking? Tricking myself into believing I could be happy and live a normal life. All I've done is hurt the people I care for. My chest tightened with guilt and anger. I didn't want to hear any more of their conversation, so I left Victoria's bags in front of the door and walked to my room. Thoughts of blame filled my head making every step I took heavy with guilt.

If I would have stayed in Korea and never left his side, Sehun would be okay. He wouldn't have gone out to that scum and Kris would have never followed after him. They would both be perfectly fine. It's all my fault. Everything is my fault.

When I reached my room I opened the door and walked in, softly closing the door before sliding to the floor. Remembering the message I received from Sehun, I stuck my hand in my pocket and pulled out my phone. With shaky fingers I unlocked my phone and went to my messages. I opened the chat box only to find a video. Curious I tapped the box and waited for the video to load.

My eyes widened when Sehun's image came into view. He was straddling someone on a large bed, due to the position of the camera I couldn't tell who the man was.

"Please, I need you."

Sehun's voice sounded hoarse as if he had been crying.

I watched as the stranger sat up, laying Sehun on his back as he whispered "No need to rush, baby. I want to take my time with you."

His face. I need to see his face.

"I've missed this body of yours ever since you got into that other boy. I'll make you remember how a man really fucks." Finally, the man lifted his face from Sehun's neck and stared into the camera a smirk lighting across ShaoLin's features.

I couldn't take my eyes off of Sehun. Every sound that escaped from his body ripped my heart to shreds. To hear him pant someone else's name crushed my soul. Sehun looked like someone I didn't know, a stranger that had his voice and looks but wasn't the Sehun I loved.

I could feel the tears brimming in my eyes as I watched Sehun cling to ShaoLin for dear life with his hands. I was supposed to be the only one who would ever know what it felt like to hold him skin to skin.

"I don't care just make me yours already!" The more I watched, the more I felt my soul wither in agony.

No.

Please!

Don't do it.

Not with him, not with anyone.

I couldn't hold back the sobs that escaped my mouth.

ShaoLin grinned and pulled down Sehun's boxers, leaving him completely naked under ShaoLin's lust filled gaze.

No.

No.

Those faces belonged to me.

Those sounds were for my ears only.

I did this to him. I made him find comfort in another man's embrace. Every word he uttered is exactly what I deserve. I was the one who left him and broke his heart. It's only fair that he do the same to me, no?

I don't know how long I sat there on the floor, eyes glued to Sehun's moving figure entangled with the body of another.

I need to get out. I need air. I-It's too hot...I feel like I'm on fire.

I reached for the door knob trying to lift myself up from the floor but my grip slipped causing me to crash to the floor. Hard. I landed on my side causing the breath to be knocked out of my lungs. 

Get up. I need to get up.

The sounds of Sehun's pants played through my head like a cruel lullaby. Slowly pulling me down to madness.

Stop. Make it stop. Please.

Gripping the floor, I gritted my teeth and used every ounce of strength to pull myself up. Once I was up, I swung the door open and bolted out of the room. Leaving behind the cruel song playing on my phone; I tried navigating through the hallway but the walls wouldn't stop spinning long enough for me to stable my balance. Every few meters I slipped falling to the ground only to hear the mocking laughter of ShaoLin taunt me.

Time and time again I fell, only to haul myself up, until I reached the top of the staircase. My head was spinning like crazy with images of ShaoLin and Sehun together. ShaoLin's disgusting hands greedily moving over Sehun's body; the body that was only meant for my eyes. I could feel my mind slipping as I slid to the floor slowly losing my vision.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

Sehun's POV

I'm standing in an unfamiliar room. I begin to walk around, letting my hand graze over the furniture. There's no sounds except for my breathing but even that is barely audible. I stop when I come in front of a body sized mirror, however, I don't come face-to-face with my reflection, instead I was staring at Tao.

"Sehun."

"Tao!" I called out knowing that he wouldn't respond.

"Why did you do it? Why?" Tao's voice was weak.

I placed a shaky hand on the mirror as I watched a tear slide from Tao's closed eyes.

"I thought I was the only one you loved? Why did you let him do that to you, Sehun?" Tao glanced up and our eyes connected. Even though he was crying I could see the anger in his eyes.

"T-Tao, you are. I-I love you." I whispered my own tears beginning to fall.

Tao smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "I should've known better than to bring you into my fucked up life. I knew I should've never kissed you that day. Everything we did was a mistake." Tao grabbed something from under his shirt and pointed it at the mirror.

The light around me became dark as I realized Tao was holding a handgun. "D-Don't." I cried but nothing came out. I began to bang on the mirror trying to gain his attention.

"Goodbye, Sehun." Everything seemed to move in slow motion as Tao pulled the trigger. The glass in the mirror shatters as I drop to my knees not caring as the glass digs deeply into my knees.

The last thing I hear before I am clouded in darkness is Tao's sweet voice whispering 'I Love You.'. 

~~~~

I woke up in a cold sweat and tried to sit up but a hand gently forced my shoulders down.

"I wouldn't move if I were you, sweetheart."

I looked up to find Mrs. Kim smiling down at me. I raised an eyebrow and tried to move again, this time it wasn't Mrs. Kim's hands that stopped my movements but a searing pain that came from my abdomen. I let out a low hiss and stilled my movements.

"I told you to not to move. You've got a pretty nasty wound to the stomach. Thankfully, it missed anything of importance." Mrs. Kim smiled.

I took me a minute to comprehend what she was saying but after a few seconds I pulled back the covers and noticed that my entire abdomen was wrapped up in bandages. "W-What happened to me?" I desperately tried to recall the events before I blacked out but, I found nothing which frightened me.

"I think we can answer that question." I turned my attention to the doorway where Kris and Suho were standing.

"Mom, we'll take it from here. Thank you." Suho walked up to his mom and wrapped her in a hug before walking up to where I was laying.

"No problem, honey. I left some extra gauze in the restroom but if you need anything else let me know." Mrs. Kim waved before walking out the room and closing the door.

Suho picked up a towel that was lying in a bowl on the table next to me and wiped my forehead. "You poor thing, you've been sweating like crazy." Once he had wiped down my face, Suho placed the towel back in the bowel and grabbed my hand.

"Hyung's, what happened to me?" I tried to search Suho's eyes for any hint of the past events but he wouldn't look me in the eyes.

"First, I think you need to see this. I think you'll remember after watching the video and if you still have questions then I'll fill in the blanks." Kris pulled out his cellphone and was about to pass it to me but Suho reached out and grabbed his arm, stopping his movements.

"Yifan, I don't think you should show him. I-I don't think he's ready to watch it." Suho looked into Kris's eyes and shook his head.

"Junmyeon, we don't have a choice. He needs to know or it could get much worse if he finds out on his own." Kris pulled Suho's hand off of his and handed me the phone. I was hesitant to take the phone but my curiosity got the better of me.

I looked up at Kris and he nodded for me to press play. With my free hand I hit the play button and waited. My eyes widened when I saw Shaolin and I entangled together, our naked bodies pressed against each other in a heated mess. I couldn't take my eyes off of the screen as I tried to grasp what I was looking at.

You know exactly what you're looking at Sehun. Tao's voice flitted through my head.

No, it's not true. I-I would never do this.

Really? Then, whose voice is that screaming like a little slut? Begging for more and more. Tao hissed.

"Sehun? Sehun, are you okay?" Suho lightly shook my shoulders trying to gain my attention.

I tore my eyes away from the screen and looked into Suho's worry filled eyes. "H-hyung, I-I'm sor-" I choked and fell into silent sobs hanging my head.

I felt disgusting, every inch of my body felt wrong.

"Oh, Sehun. It's not your fault." Suho wiped the tears from my face and embraced me in a hug.

"No, Hyung. It is. I'm supposed to be in love with Tao but I slept with another man."

"Sehun, listen to me. You weren't in your right mind. You acted on your feelings of being hurt by Tao's marriage. If anything, I'm the one who should be blamed for keeping everything a secret from you." Kris said as he sat down at the foot of my bed.

My eyes widened as my mind became flooded with memories of yesterday's events. "H-has Tao seen this video?" I looked up into Kris's eyes with a scared look in my own. I didn't want him to see this side of me; to see me vulnerable and broken relying on another man's touch to soothe my broken self.

Kris's eyes soften when he met my gaze. "I don't know, Sehun. I'm sorry, but I haven't made contact with him since yesterday. I'm not going to lie, there is a chance that he may have seen it, as you know Shaolin didn't send him just a picture."

I closed my eyes holding back the tears that threatened to spill. "I'm scared. W-what if he hates me now? I don't think I can handle it if he doesn't love me anymore."

"Sehun, I promise you that he won't hate you or love you any less. That's not the type of person Tao is and the bond that you two share can't be broken that easily, trust me." Suho's grip on my hand tightened as he wiped the stray tear from my face.

"He's right, you know. Tao will go to the ends of the earth for you and so will we. No one thinks or loves you less because of what you did. Do you remember, what I told you back at the club?"

I shook my head and waited for his answer. So much went down at that club that it's just one big haze in my mind that I would like to erase from my life.

"Tao is head over heels for you but he's trying to protect you from people that want him to fall. His father is one of those people he knows who will do anything to get Tao to bend to his will. You're basically like Lois Lane and Tao's Superman; you're his weakness that he wants to protect." Kris placed his hand on top of my head in a comforting matter.

"D-do you think I can maybe c-call him? He won't answer if I call him on my phone but he'll answer if its you." I know I was getting my hopes up for nothing but I couldn't help but want to listen to his voice; to hear him tell me directly what was going on and that he still loved me like I love him, that everything we felt wasn't a mistake.

"I don't think that's such a good idea. You need to focus on healing first and we need to handle things here as Exo. Manager-hyung is pretty upset and worried about what the company might say about this fiasco. He said there's a large possibility that Exo could be put on hiatus or disbanded." Suho said in a tight voice, clearly worried about the future of Exo.

"I'm sorry, I made things difficult. Especially, in the midst of our new comeback." I closed my eyes and turned my head away from my Kris and Suho.

"Don't blame yourself, Sehun. Things were bound to escalate like this sooner or later. Unfortunately, fate decided to speed things up a little." Kris said. "No more questions, now. You need to rest. I'll be back later tonight to check in on you." Kris pulled Suho up from my side and walked out of the room leaving me alone to wallow in my own thoughts.

"I'm sorry, my panda. I'm so sorry." I silently cried. Letting the tears fall calmly down my cheeks and into the pillow. I cried until I felt my body relax with exhaustion as sleep took me under its wing.

***

Tao's POV

"He's seen the video. It's not like we can just ignore the fact that he knows, Uncle."

"I know, I know. Things have certainly gotten out of hand. Not to mention the death of Shaolin will cause a massive uproar in the gangs here. These next few months will test Zi Tao's strength more than ever."

The sound of voices brought me out of my sleep. I opened my eyes and came face to face with the ceiling of my room. Without moving too much, I looked around the dimly lit room finding the owners of the hushed voices with their backs to me in a deep conversation. 

I slowly sat up in my bed and crossed my arms. "What's going on between you two and what does it have to do with Sehun and I, SungMin?"

Victoria and SungMin turned around, Victoria looked surprised but SungMin was calm as if he knew I was awake the whole time.

"As you know, Sehun and Shaolin have gotten quite close-

I slammed my fist on the headboard behind me and sneered. "That's not what I'm asking! I saw the damn video! I want to know how in the hell Shaolin, Sehun, Kris, Victoria, and you seem to be mixed into all of this?"

SungMin sighed and bowed. "My apologies, young Master."

I immediately regretted yelling at SungMin and blew out a sigh of my own. "I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to get angry with you. I'm just worried about Sehun. I overheard your and Victoria's conversation with Gege and I'm torn up inside because I know that everything that's happened was my fault." I hung my head in defeat; feeling vulnerable for the first time in my life since I was first left alone in Korea five years ago.

Victoria, who had been silent, finally spoke up. "Taozi, none of this is your fault. You can't control everything that happens around you. Nobody is pointing the finger at you for Sehun's or Kris's injuries, so you shouldn't blame yourself either." I felt a hand touch my cheek and lift my head. I met Victoria's sweet gaze filled with understanding and comfort.

"She is right. This was not your doing but your fathers. He is the one who sent Shaolin to Korea to keep tabs on your every move and interactions; as he carefully created a profile he believed lethal enough to break you if you decided to stand against him. Him using Sehun and Shaolin was just the tip of the iceberg for what he has in store for you. You have eleven other people whom you hold dear to your heart that can torture you with."

"So, what do I do? I want to protect every single one of them from my father's power but I have no control over his actions in Korea. He holds the upper hand right now. The only source of reliance I have is Gege and he can't do it alone." I let my head fall back on the headboard as I stared up at my ceiling, searching my brain for a solution.

"We could always level out the playing field." Victoria whispered.

My head snapped to Victoria as I lifted an eyebrow. "Explain."

Victoria let out a smile and pointed to me. "You can fly every single one of them out of Korea and into China. It's not like you haven't done it before. Besides, your father won't dare try and touch any of them inside this house. He knows that you have connections bigger and better than his in China. It'll be like fighting a battle he's already loss before it even began."

I looked to SungMin for approval and he shrugged his shoulders. "I don't see why this wouldn't work. The staff in this house love's you and every one of them are proficient in hand to hand combat. They are very capable of protecting your friends from your father."

My eyes widened in shock at the sudden news of our staffs' extra abilities. "W-when did that happen?"

SungMin's eyes glowed up in excitement. "Since the day we learned that your father wasn't such a nice man."

"Damn." I shook my head in disbelief. "Anyway, is there any way to get in contact with SM? I need to speak with Young-min."

"I can handle that. You focus on getting a hold of Kris and letting him know what's happening." SungMin said. "Now, if you'll excuse me I have a few people to call." SungMin bowed and left leaving Victoria and I by ourselves.

"Taozi, I'm sorry for not telling you about SungMin being my Uncle. He told me to not tell you because he didn't want you to feel like our friendship wasn't real." Victoria ducked her head causing her hair to cover her face.

I let out a low chuckle and stood up from my bed, stretching my muscles. "It's okay. I'm not really mad about any of that. I'm actually happy to know that old man has someone to look after him." I threw a smile at Victoria and laughed when she rolled her eyes.

"Are you okay?" Victoria asked.

I knew what she was referring to but I didn't want to think about that video. My heart squeezed in agony as the memory of their bodies moving against each other filled my mind. I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose forcing those memories into the deep recess of my mind.

"I'm fine. I-I think I'm going to get in the shower before it gets any later. You should probably head back to your room for the night." I turned my back to her and walked into my closet.

Victoria sighed and shook her head. "Alright, Taozi. Goodnight."

I stayed silent as I listened to her footsteps and the sound of the door closing with a soft click. I grabbed random articles of clothing and slowly walked into the bathroom. I stripped out of my clothes and walked into the shower, I let the cold water fall down my body. My body felt so numb that I didn't feel the sting of the water; the only indicator of the temperature changing was the steam that ghosted over the glass of the shower.

I know I told Victoria I was okay but that was a lie; I'm a complete mess. Images of Sehun and Shaolin played in my mind like a sick movie, no matter how hard I tried I couldn't stop the memory from clouding my conscious. I balled my hands up into fist on the walls of the shower trying to keep myself from cracking. "Dammit!" I banged my fist against the walls and slid down to the floor of the shower resting my head on the wall.

For the first time in months I cried. I wrapped my arms around myself and let all of my frustration and fears slip away with every tear that fell from my eyes. "Sehun, I won't hurt you like I did again. I won't push you to this state again. I promise."


	15. Chapter Fifteen

Sehun's POV

"W-what?" I said nearly choking on the water I was drinking. I set the glass on the table next to my bed and wiped my mouth.

Kris's mouth twitched in amusement as he placed a white envelope in my lap. "China, Sehun. You're going to be flying to China."

"I don't understand. Why am I going to China?" The smile Kris had plastered on his face was giving me weird vibes as I tried to process what he was saying.

Kris shrugged his shoulders and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "I don't know the specifics but I do know it was Tao's request that you be sent to China under his protection until further notice."

"O-oh. I should be happy about this, right?" I looked down at the envelope in my lap and smiled sadly. "To be honest, I'm scared of what Tao might think about me..." I trailed off, my words getting caught in my throat.

I could tell my words caught Kris off-guard; he must have thought I would be crazy with excitement and honestly I should be, but I couldn't find it in me to be happy. There was this fear of knowing that Tao would be disgusted with me and my body.

"I'm not going to lie, I thought you would be happy about seeing Tao after so many months but then again I can understand where this fear of yours is coming from. I don't blame you for holding back but it's okay to hope again. I think what happened with ShaoLin has finally made that kid come to his senses about leaving you. More than anything, he wanted to protect you from his life but now that you've been dragged back in, there's no way he's going to let you get hurt again." I looked at Kris with hopeful eyes as I held the envelope tightly in my hands.

I opened my mouth to say something but I was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Come in." I called as I glanced at Kris but he wouldn't meet my eyes.

I was shocked to see Tao walk through the door and couldn't help but stare at him. I tried to say something but the words refused to leave my mouth. For what seemed like hours, Tao and I stared at each other, lost for words. It took all of my strength to not jump out of the bed and run into his arms.

The room was filled with such heavy tension between Tao and I causing Kris to cough awkwardly trying to break the silence. "Um, I'll leave you two to talk to each other." Kris stood up from the chair he was sitting in and walked towards the door. He stopped briefly next to Tao and whispered into his ear, "Hurry up and fix things, Taozi." Tao nodded his head and moved to the side allowing Kris to walk through the door.

I watched as Tao made his way to the chair that was next to my bed, I couldn't stop the tears from flowing down my face as Tao came closer and closer. Everything I had wanted was in reach and yet it felt like he was still a mile away. I didn't make an effort to wipe the tears away, I couldn't make my body move.

Tao finally reached the chair and sat down grabbing my hand in the process. I turned my head away from Tao; it hurt so much to look at him. Despite what Kris and Suho have told me I can't stop thinking that Tao no longer loves me, if he even did love me.

"Sehun, look at me. Please." Tao' s voice sounded strained as if he was trying to keep back his own tears.

I shook my head, afraid to speak knowing that my voice would sound just as bad as his did.

"Baby, please. Let me see your face." Tao was on the verge of pleading.

His words only made my tears fall harder and faster. "I-I can't." I muttered. It was barely above a whisper but I knew he heard me. Tao's hand softly grabbed my chin and gently forced me to look him in the eyes. "I-I'm sorry, Tao. P-please don't hate m-me." I stuttered.

"Oh, baby. I don't hate you." With the hand on my cheek, Tao wiped away my tears. "I could never hate you, if anything I hate myself for pushing you to that state. I-I left you because I wanted to protect you, but I was the one who hurt you. I'm so sorry, Sehun."

I let myself be pulled into a hug, breathing in his scent, I balled my fist into his shirt pulling myself more into his chest. I felt warm wrapped in his arms compared to the many cold nights I laid in bed wishing for his arms. "I-I've missed you s-so much." I mumbled into his chest.

Tao's arms tightened around me. "I've missed you, too. I couldn't get you out of my head. It seemed like everything I did you were right there next to me. I reread every text you sent me and listened to every voicemail you left. There were so many times where I wanted to reply to you or call you, but I forced myself to leave you alone. I-I tried to convince myself that you were better off without me and for a moment I believed that you were. When Gege told me how happy you had been after a few months, I thought I had succeeded in my selfish plan, but I couldn't have been more wrong. I wish I would've known how stupid I was being and m-maybe you wouldn't be injured now." Tao released me from his embrace and grabbed my shoulders, slowly pulling me to my feet. I tried to wrap the blanket around my waist but Tao stopped my hands, letting the blanket fall in a puddle around our feet.

The only clothes I had on was a pair of boxers and a loose T-Shirt. I watched as Tao's eyes moved down my body as he stared at every bruise and cut that littered my legs. Some were self-inflicted and others were from my late night outings when I had lost all emotion and respect for my body. During those times I didn't care what happened to my body as my heart had already been broken and shattered to millions of pieces; no one knew how to approach me and I didn't want to be approached; all I wanted was someone to make me feel. I wanted someone to make this body warm again, so I slept with just about every man I could get my hands on but no one could make me feel like Tao did. Everyone thought I was dealing with Tao's absence but that wasn't the case; during the day I wore a bright smile and laughed but when the cold of the night came, I went out in search of the warmth that Tao had taken with him.

I looked down to the floor, afraid to meet his gaze. "Heh, I've gotten a lot uglier haven't I?" I laughed but there was no humor in my voice.

"Sehun, you could never be ugly in my eyes." Tao said softly.

I squeezed my eyes shut and dug my nails into the sides of my bare thighs. "How? I-I'm all broken and used. How can this-" I opened my eyes and stared into his as I waved my hand over my scarred skin, "be anything other than ugly!" Tears ran furiously down my face. "There is absolutely nothing beautiful about a body that has been used and seen by many, Tao!" I tried to push Tao away but he grabbed my wrist and pulled my body against his, tightly wrapping his arms around my thin frame. "N-No! Let me go. I-I don't w-want you to touch such a disgusting body." I tried to push against his chest but his grip around me was too tight.

"I don't know who told you that something as beautiful as you could ever be disgusting or ugly. There is no such thing. Don't you know that even a broken, scarred, and used toy is beautiful in the eye of a child whom values more than what is only skin deep?" Tao gently grabbed my chin and brought my face closer to his. "No matter how many have touched you or gazed upon you, none have been able to give you what I can only give you and none have received what only I can get and that is the love, respect, and pure desire that we have for one another. Nothing about you or your body will ever disgust me, Sehun, because I know that there is more to my beautiful Ice Prince than what my eyes can see." Tao brought his face closer to mine, so that our lips were barely touching. I couldn't tear my gaze away from Tao as he slowly brought our lips together.

I let my eyes flutter close as I leaned into his soft lips. The kiss wasn't rushed or hot but sweet and loving as if Tao had poured every ounce of love he had for me into our kiss and it made my tears of fear turn into those of thankfulness.

I opened my eyes as Tao pulled away from the kiss, he had tears slowly falling down his face but his eyes held no sadness. I lifted my hand to his face and wiped away his tears, "I love you, all of you." He whispered as he grabbed my hand and held it tightly in his own.

A smile crept its way onto my face as I leaned my head against his chest, "I love you, too. Always have, always will. To the moon and back." We finished together. I closed my eyes and let the soft rhythm of Tao's heartbeat fill my head.

"Sehun, are you okay? I mean is your stomach okay?" Tao's questions brought me out of the daze I found myself in, thanks to the sounds of his heart.

Lifting my head from his chest, I use my free hand to pull up my shirt exposing the white bandages that decorated my torso. "It hurts every now and then but I guess I'm okay. Mrs. Kim says that I should be fully recovered in about a month or two but until then I should really stick to light activities or else the wound could reopen." I shrugged my shoulders and let my shirt fall back over my stomach.

I looked up at Tao and gave him a small smile, he tried to smile back but it didn't reach his eyes. I cocked my head to the side in confusion as I stared into his eyes trying to figure out what he was thinking. "What are you thinking?" I asked as I stroked his cheek with my free hand.

"I'm just glad that you're okay." Tao said as he pecked me on the lips, burying any doubts that I had. "We should start packing your things, our flight leaves tomorrow morning." Tao dropped his arms from around me and moved towards my closet.

"Tomorrow morning?" I turned around and grabbed the white envelope off my bed. I opened the envelope and pulled out my plane ticket. Scanning the ticket, I found the departure time, sure enough the plane was said to depart at eight in the morning. "Why?" I tucked the ticket back into the envelope and sat down on my bed watching Tao move around the room.

Tao walked out of my closet with an armful of clothes and threw them into an open suitcase on the floor. "I have a meeting with some of my sponsors tomorrow around noon and I don't want to leave you in Korea for another day. My father has too many connections in Korea that he may use to hurt you." He arranged all the clothes neatly in the suitcase and zipped it up.

"I-Is he that powerful, your Father?" If Tao felt the need to take me out of Korea so quickly it meant that he was truly worried for my safety.

Tao let out a low chuckle, "He's only powerful in Korea. In China he doesn't have many allies. Whereas, I am more powerful in China and more vulnerable in Korea. Which is why I would feel much better if you were in China with me, plus my mother has been asking me to introduce you to her for years."

"I guess you're right about me being more safe in China than Korea but I'm going to miss everyone." I pulled my legs under me and wrapped my arms around myself.

Tao let out a sigh as he stood up and walked up to the bed, sitting down next to me. "I know it's going to be hard to leave but it's the only way to protect you and everyone else. I wanted to fly everyone to China but Gege convinced me to only take you as you were most likely going to be targeted again. He also wanted Exo to finish their comeback before leaving."

"Does everyone know that you're here or does only Kris know?" I leaned my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes, waiting for his response.

"Everyone knows that I'm back. I actually came to Korea two days ago, I stayed at a hotel up until today."

"Were they shocked to see you?"

"Not really, they were unusually quiet when I showed up but I told them that I was okay. It felt like they were walking on eggshells around me; I asked Suho about the uneasiness and he told me that him and Gege had explained to them about the real reason I had left Exo, after the incident with ShaoLin." Tao grabbed one of my hands from around my waist and wrapped it in his own. "It seemed that they expected me to be uneasy like them but I told everyone that I was sorry for keeping things a secret and lying to them. I just didn't want anything happening to anyone because of this stupid fight with my father. I felt like this fight was mine and mine alone to fight."

Hearing Tao speak like this hurt me. It made me want to grab him and hold him, while I whispered to him that everything was going to be okay; that he didn't have to fight alone. With my free hand I tapped Tao on his shoulder gaining his attention. "You don't have to fight alone; in fact, I don't want to let you fight alone. I want to be by your side for this and every other fight that you have to fight. Will you let me?"

Tao looked surprised by my question but smiled. "It seems like you have no intention of letting me say no, but I wouldn't like anything more than to have you by my side." Tao tightened his grip around my hand as he pulled us down onto the bed. I laid my head on top of his chest as he draped his arm around my waist.

"Are you going to stay with me tonight?" I asked, drawing lightly on his chest.

"Yes."

I snuggled closer into Tao, letting myself get wrapped in his warmth I felt my lids get heavy. "Don't leave me, Zitao." I mumbled, getting closer to sleep.

"Never again." Tao whispered as he pulled the cover over our bodies.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: 
> 
> This is my first time posting to AO3...I'm new to this site but I have other stories on WattPad as well as AsianFanFics.com both are under the same username  
> I hope you enjoy this fanfiction as many others do...Please comment what you think :) 
> 
> ~~FireLight2317


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